New Beginnings
by sgrcoatedpoison
Summary: A desperate plea from the boy who lived gives him a new beginning in forks washington, a new family, new battles and a new love. Harry finds his truest desires in the strange magic of a strange land. alternate universe, slash.
1. Chapter 1

He had won, that was his only absolute, the only think he knew and the last thing he cared about. In fact everything he cared about had been long gone before this one circumstance became the absolute. In fact winning was not even his goal anymore, he had just wanted to end it. He didn't care about the process or the implications just the outcome, he wanted an end regardless, new beginnings be damned. In retrospect he probably should have though a bit more about the starting over. Not that he thought all that much about the end when it came down to it. A true end only crossed his mind a few minutes before it happened, as he held both of his wands in his hands, one that his opponent held not seconds before. He held them and all he could think of was all that he had lost all for the power of the wand in his hand, the stone he dropped in the forest and the cloak he had all but lost track of. His friends had died regardless of him giving himself up and they had all but just lain down and taken it after voldemort had slaughtered Neville for killing Nagini. If anyone he knew or even knew of had still been alive maybe it would have turned out differently, but they weren't and it didn't. So he squeezed those wands for dear life and felt as both of their cores connected to his inner one. He had now words or spells just a feeling. He wanted everything over with and if he had his way there would be nothing left. The two wands sparked and shook in his hand as he whispered "end it", and he did. Now they were dead. He didn't see it but he knew, that's how he knew he had won and that it had ended.

The thing is, something else had started and he wasn't sure what it was, where it was or why it was.


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing he saw was green a few blinks and the green defined itself into forestry and even then he knew that he wasn't even in Europe. He was in a forest, deep inside one, a very wet a cold one, and he was naked. He assessed himself. He couldn't find any wounds just a stray scar and slight aches in his muscles. His hair hung just past his shoulders messily. Ten fingers, ten toes… everything was in order except he was naked and he wasn't before. But that wasn't the worst condition he had ever woken up in and it was the least of all things to be considered. Months ago he would have panicked but after so long having to go on his own and relying on just his instincts he was nothing if not adaptable.

Feeling too vulnerable and out of place as he was, he shifted into his animagus form. It was a small, black, wolfish-looking puppy that had come about from his mourning for Sirius and the relationship they could have had. It was the size of an average puppy and not very practical but he was comfortable in it and trusted that it would serve its purpose. He steeled himself as he let his nose lead him to water. In a place that wet it wasn't hard but the terrain wasn't even and the logs, rocks and vegetation proved to be trying adversaries. There was a small but steady stream of water that ran down the slope of the land, it was clear and cool, he wasted no time lapping up as much as his tongue would allow, constantly thinking that if SIrius could survive primarily as a dog for more than a year then he could manage. It was not a lot but it was enough. Then he began to explore the scents of the forest. Overall everything was clean and crisp, most animal scents were watered down most likely due to rain and there weren't many varieties to follow especially compared to the areas that he was used to. He was hungry but there wasn't must that he could do by way of food so all he could do was to keep was hours before the overcast sky gave way to rain and his long shaggy coat pulled him down making the trek even more difficult. Eventually his small form gave way to exhaustion and he crawled into a nearby log for shelter and sleep.

The next morning he awoke cold but dry and the rain he saw falling as so light he couldn't even tell where it hit the ground. Hunger came back swiftly and became painful after his first hour of roaming. He gave in to eating the small wild berries off the small plants, they weren't appetizing in the least but if nothing else they would keep him alive. A full stomach meant more sleep, only to be awoken by rain a while later. And he found shelter, slept, ate and did everything all over again. Days bled into each other and became weeks and there was very little to break the monotony. He wasn't bored or complaining, the peacefulness was something that he could never take for granted and thoroughly enjoyed. Not having to think about anything, no enemies to overcome and no expectations he simply had to be. Once in a while he would shift into his human form and bathe under the heavy rains; sometimes he would chase birds or follow around small bugs as they crawled for entertainment but it was more or less the same.

the days all started one of two ways he either woke up to rain or to his stomach, the deep growling that rumbled even his own chest definitely set off alarms. He opened his eyes to see the bared teeth of some animal, and animal that was preying on him. It wasn't overly large, around the size of a dog but much more violent looking. It was small enough to enter Harry's log so when it started to advance he turned and ran. He briefly thought of shifting back but changed his mind; it wouldn't help much as his magical core was all but gone and useless performing any acts of the kind. As it was his smaller form was not the fastest but it was adequate and as he ran the lower vegetation hid him and often times his predator would have to pause because he had lost sight of him. However the chaser was bigger, faster and had much more stamina and he felt himself tiring, and to make things worse his path was taking him to a clearing and there were no hiding spaces for as far as he could see. He continued running for what it was worth and as the hit the clearing the animal made quick progress and Harry was sure that he would be caught. Then almost too quickly for him to notice three rocks were thrown at the creature, one hit stunning it briefly. Then several more followed. Most missed their target but were close enough to scare it off. Without even looking up at his savior harry plopped to his side trying desperately to fill his lungs and cool himself down. At the sound of footsteps he curled up into himself whimpering, still scared from his ordeal.

"Hush little puppy. I won't hurt you. I brought you water see here."

A small wooded bowl was set right in Harry's line of vision and the promise of water had him huffing to his feet and timidly approaching the offering. He sniffed it several times before lapping tentatively. It wasn't as cool as the water he got when it rain in the forest but it was water all the same and he finished it. His savior was cooing at him in some sing song voice that he didn't even bother listening to but when she reached out to touch him he flinched and backed away.

"I won't hurt you. It's okay…come 'ere"

He backed up slowly as they kept coming. Then they turned and sprinted into the house. He began sniffing around the new area until they returned with another bowl. This time with milk in it, richer and thicker than the milk he remembered as a human, slightly warmed and delicious. When he finished that the lay a small piece of some kind of cured meat in his bowl which he slowly ate, not really hungry any more, yet when they continued adding others he ate them up just as quickly and when they offered him the last few piece from their hand he took them with little hesitation. Allowed his savior to pet him them. She was a pretty young woman, she had scars across her face but he had seen too many to really care about that. Her hands were strong and able not like the soft manicured females hands back in England, her complexion darker and her features different. Different was good. Her hands were slowly working over his body. He winced internally when she traced her fingers over his ribs and scowled. She was slowly lulling him to sleep whether she meant to or not. Before he gave in completely, he licked her hand and stood up. Trotting away slowly he made his way back into the forest wary of going too far. He made his bed among the roots and shrubs at the base of a large tree and gave in to the sleep he had been fighting. The next day he retraced his steps and while he didn't see the woman there was the bowl tucked by the path he took back into the forest. Tasting experimentally he determined that it was wet dog food and hastily devoured it before going back into the greenery. He could smell some sort of animal very strongly in this part of the woods but he felt safer making his home closer to the village, the pretty woman and away from whatever had tried to eat him.

She left food every day and had started leaving water as well. Some days she would be there to pet him and play but most times she was not. As their relationship grew harry was beginning to see that he had gotten his end and new beginning and while he wasn't sure what all he would be in for he was content with what he was getting.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry was chasing a butterfly, its flight was hampered by wet wings and it was drifting along just low enough for the puppy animagus to toy with. He had no idea his plans were to do when he got it but he was enjoying the chase. He wouldn't have cared if he didn't catch it at all. Even though he was at home in the forest, the obstacles that bothered him on his first day still did and it made his playing all the more challenging and fun. He would climb atop rocks and logs and then jump off to see how close a swipe he could make. His entire focus was on the colorful insect that danced in front of him; lately it had become easy to just indulge in the simple childish things, especially since he was living as a puppy. So when the butterfly finally landed he didn't care exactly where it had chosen to perch, only how he would get there. He had followed it into a tree less area and it was only after he sat to contemplate his next jump did he pick up on it; the animal scent that overpowered everything else in the woods close to the village. He cursed himself for his oversight before finally looking around and for the second time in the forest believing that he was a goner. All around the clearing were these massive wolves, wolves that would tower over him even at human height. There was some humanity in their scent and he immediately thought of the muggle shifters that Remus admitted to running with sometimes during the full moon. They were all lying around, seemingly relaxed, but the puppy was terrified.

The members of the Quileute wolf pack all looked on with amusement when the small puppy had run into the clearing after a butterfly, not even noticing his surroundings. He had run over some of their tails and was obviously contemplating jumping on embrys back to get to the butterfly when he finally noticed them. The puppy's eyes met with one of the wolves and he started whimpering and walking backwards only to bump into the legs of another. When harry turned to look at the wolf currently at his back, their eyes met once again and for a while he felt like he was back in the battle once more and the wands had joined themselves to his core. The shocking feel in his chest was there but this time the connection was to the wolf in front of him. He was sure now that these were shifters but that didn't make it easier. That meant they would know he was one and they would want answers. Paul was equally stunned as he locked eyes with the small puppy in front of him. The moment that their eyes met he had imprinted and was sure that he had also been imprinted on. Thankfully the pup smelled like a shifter and not a real animal but that just opened another complication, lots of unanswered questions.

"_Sam…"_

"_I know Paul…Just...gimme a sec. if he submits to me maybe that will allow him to join the pack and we can have access to his mind"_

"_SAM!"_

"_I won't hurt him; I just need to see…"_

"_This isn't the time to experiment"_

"_If anyone has better ideas then say so."_

After several long moments with no reply Sam began to advance forward. The sound of his feet thudding on the soil made harry start and turn around. He watched as the other wolves moved to encircle them. He instinctually ran behind the legs of the wolf his core had just connected with, positive that he would be protected. The wolf had abruptly stopped walking when he noticed Harry's intention. Paul was both pleased and amused at its antics as he tried almost successfully to hide behind his leg. However when Sam growled his amusement faded and despite his desire to protect he knew that he would have to allow Sam to have his way with the pup to induct him into the Pack. He carefully stepped over harry and nudged him forward with his nose and when harry finally decided to walk on his own he did so with his head bowed and tail lapped tightly between his legs. everyone was aware that a physical show of dominance was needed and it only served to make them all nervous as they took in the size difference. Once they were face to face harry rolled over unto his back and whined hoping to illicit some sympathy from his soon to be alpha. Sam towered over the smaller body not moving for long minutes. Then he opened his jaws. His could have easily swallowed the puppy if that had been his intention. Rather, he tightened his jaws just around the small stomach, allow his teeth to graze the skin, his breath envelop the smaller animal. He could feel shaking but ignored it. He placed several more of the fake bites along Harry's body occasionally growling and snarling. Finally he was at Harry's neck. He nudged him unto his back with his snout and captured the skin at his nape. He growled while shaking him, just enough so that he would feel the imprint of his teeth when he let go. As the blood started to flow once more where Sam had grabbed him, harry began to hear faint whispers in the back of his mind.

As soon as harry realized what had taken place he bounded up. He couldn't explain why he felt so happy to have been made a part of this pack that he was not only clueless about but didn't even have time to decide if it was something he wanted. However there was no denying that he did feel happy and as though he belonged. For the first time he felt like he was fitting perfectly into the role life was putting him in. he supposed it had to do with the 'pack' and the spiritual connection that joined each and every one of them much deeper and stronger than any outsider could fathom. The pack works within one mind. Like different fractions of one being rather than individuals of a group. Harry was more than content for once. He knew now exactly where he stood and what's more he felt safe and protected, knowing that his new family would provide him with the security that he hadn't even realized that he was missing.

"_What's your name pup?" _ the thoughts in his head that weren't his were disorienting him a bit, but that voice was the loudest, distinguished from everyone else's and obviously pointed at him.

"_Harry…"_

"_I'm Sam, the alpha of the pack. What brings you here?"_

"_I just wanted to start over…and get away from things at home. I dint really choose here or anything and I didn't know about you guys." _

"_And how did you get here."_

"_I woke up." _

Harry felt the desire to explain more but something was preventing him and even as he knew what happened, knew of his past the thoughts and memories and all he could figure was that whatever had bound his magic was also binding areas of his mind from the pack.

"_Hmmm…weirder things have happened."_

He wondered at the lack of questions before he realized that they were already in his head and he in theirs. They already knew how to use that bond and the already 'knew' him. The realization was more than he could deal with in his current situation but try as he might he couldn't block them out. In minutes they knew it all, the dursley's, his parents, voldemort and they war. They knew that it was because of what he was but they filled in the blanks with wolves and vampires rather than wizards and for that he was grateful.

_We have been through something of a war ourselves and the conflict will never truly be over but it is under control and nowhere near as dangerous as the life you had. _

He couldn't bring himself to respond, he didn't even know how but he was saved from the attempting to by the first scarce drops of a promised rain. Sam spoke again, this time addressing everyone.

_We need to head home, we have been out here too long as it is. _

Almost immediately the entire pack was in motion and they started on their trek back to the village. They weren't making any real effort to beat the rain and in no time it was drumming down relentlessly but to the large being it was hardly worth noticing. Harry was at the back of the pack with his wolf bringing up the rear. He was struggling but trying hard to hide it. The terrain had always been a task and even more so now that he was trying to muddle through in the rain. What's more his fur which had gotten even longer and shaggier during his time in the forest was drenched and the weight was pushing his too small body to the forest floor. He could hardly see for the rain pushing it over his eyes and kept having to shake his head every minute or so to clear his field of was after he lost his footing for the umpteenth time and was nearly trampled that his wolf finally lost his patience and opted for carrying him by the back of his neck back to the village rather than risk stepping on his newly found imprint. And while that thought from the larger wolf sparked his interest he brushed it off in favor focusing on his journey.

Looking ahead at the back of so many super-sized wolves was rather intimidating and he couldn't help the shiver that ran through him. They were massive and he knew that if anything went wrong he wouldn't stand a chance in human or animal form. Before he could stop himself several scenes flashed through his head of the pack attacking him and it didn't help when some of the wolves turned back to look at him. His only comfort was that the wolf that was holding him was absent from his day dreams. If nothing else he was glad to find someone that his whole being magical and not was willing to trust. It didn't take long for harry to realize which part of the forest they were in and most importantly where they were headed, and that was towards the village he had discovered when being chased by that creature and more importantly, to the woman who had saved him and had been taking looking out for him ever since.

_You know Emily"_

The words bounced around his head and hit him from several directions.

_I was being chased by…something. She ran it off. She's kind of been looking out for me ever since. _

In his mind he showed them the base of the tree where she would leave food and water for him. It was extremely close to the village but in an area where the trees were too thick for the large wolves to even dream of passing through. He thought of the games they played and the cabin she stayed in and it hit him. The wolves were the cause of the strange smell around the cabin, they knew Emily and that where they were headed. His puppy form and come to look at Emily as a parental figure in a warped kind of way. He didn't know how it would be to reveal him to her. Much less relate to her on a human level.

_Emily has talked about you. She calls you her little wolf baby. Warned the whole pack that if we ever hurt you she'd skin us alive. She is going to be shocked that you're a shifter but I think that she is going to be happier with the fact that she can baby you all the time. _

Harry immediately recognized the speaker to be the alpha. He also knew that Emily was his imprint and that he was the one to give her the scars. He wasn't sure how he just knew it but the information was there and upon investigation he 'knew' quite a lot about the entire pack.

The cabin quickly came into view and he was set down in just before they reached the clearing. He couldn't help but watch as the wolves shifted back into their human form. The shift was always something to watch; as the body shifted and reformed to accommodate two forms in one. He was awestruck at the human counterparts of the Wolves, understandably large but also very built and intimidating. The animalistic strength and presence was reflecting perfectly in their human bodies. The all had clothes hidden in the brush. They were wet but still better than being naked. Though in the

Face of their nudity they all seemed to be rather calm and at ease. He knew that now they were all looking at him to change back as well and it as an unwelcome shock when he realized. He knew he didn't have a choice though, now that they knew and he was a part of their pack. He found some comfort in that the alpha now in his human form carried further away from the others were he could change much more privately. And though he was still hesitant he changed with little delay when he bib him to, relieved when he handed him a pair of cutoff jeans. They were much too large but still welcome.

Harry stood awkwardly under the gaze of the Alpha. He was self-conscious. He knew that he was a mess, scratched, bruised and dirty, his hair long shaggy and tangled. After being animal so long he could hardly stand on his two legs and they shook.

"It's alright Pup, we are going to help you."

Harry couldn't help but believe Sam and once again he was filled with the warm feelings that came with being part of a pack. He whispered thank you. His voice was small and raspy from disuse. He didn't even recognize himself. They simply stood for a while and harry knew that it was solely for his benefit, that somehow the man in front of him knew that he needed the time to gather his bearings. Eventually he began to remember what it felt like to stand as a human and once his legs stopped wavering enough for him to walk, they made their way towards the cabin.


	4. Chapter 4

Sam wasn't sure what to feel about the new puppy that he has just inducted into the pack. Obviously his first thoughts would be about where he came from and even more importantly the fact that he was Paul's mate. That he could understand and work around. What he couldn't account for was the protectiveness that he felt for him. It didn't make sense for him to feel that fondly towards a stranger. And while he felt protective towards all of his pack, the feelings he felt for harry were different, deeper…it shocked him when he realized that the feelings stirring inside of him were bordering on paternal. He rationalized that it was because of the puppy's size and what he learned of his past that was growing these feelings but he knew that there was something else at work.

He wasn't altogether surprised to find that harry knew Emily. He recognized his scent and had already guessed that he was the puppy she had been talking about. What he was interested in where Harry's thoughts of Emily, especially how affectionate they were. That only endeared the small shifter to him even more. He glanced back at the pair several times during the trek home; Harry being carried by the scruff in Paul's jaws. He didn't understand how he could look so comfortable being carried as he was but more so he couldn't get over just how gentle Paul was being. He knew that the other wolf hadn't fully embraced the imprint as yet and with good reason but despite his reservations the connection they had was undeniable.

Paul was the hotheaded one of the pack. He was prone to violence, loved to argue and in the way of relationships he tended to lean more towards the carnal than the compassionate. Harry was going to be his kryptonite. An imprint couldn't be ignored, even more so when it was between two shifters. And as the older of the two Paul would be the one who would have to adapt to his younger partner. There were a lot of things that Paul was against in his imprinting but he knew the futility in fighting it. Carrying harry through the forest made him feel proud and needed. It pleased him to know that his imprint needed his help. Where it anyone else he would have found their clumsiness annoying and the delay angering but Harry was just adorable and where it not for the pounding rain and the need to get home, Paul would have been quite content watching harry fumble around the forest, his small body tensed in his determination to overcome all the obstacle of the forest. He could admire that, the entire pack could admire it and judging by the embarrassment when Paul started to carry him, harry prided himself on it.

He was almost upset when they had gotten to their shifting point and he had to set him down. The entire pack shifted back with little fanfare, much to accustom to the situation to even think about how it would be for the newest edition to their pack. Everyone was just pulling back on their clothes when Sam noticed harry sitting in the middle of everything as though he was waiting for something. He dug back into the brush and got the small pair of shorts he could find and while he was sure that they would still be big, it was still better than nothing. He threw Paul a look telling before picking Harry up and taking him to a more secluded section to phase back.

Sam was aware that he was staring and making the situation more awkward than it needed to be but for several minutes he couldn't bring himself to do much else. Sam expected the scratches, bruises and scars, he had seen his thoughts he saw how hard it was for him to get through the forest, those were a given. Based on the puppy form he knew his hair was long but he was shocked at just how long. It fell down into his back, longer than any of the packs had been before they had first phased. It was messy and unkempt, not curly but not exactly straight. It seemed to have a mind of its own and he just knew that Emily was going to have a fun time trying to tame it. His eyes ran over his frame several times, nothing special or shocking, but his eyes, his eyes kept pulling him back. They were a brilliant emerald green, dark and deep. He hadn't had those in his other form. They were definitely going to stand out on the reservation, eyes that resembled the green of the forest when you ran through so fast that everything just blurred into one. They were stunning but also sorrowful, they had the type of depth that you got from grief, from sadness and desperation and the looking branded itself on his own mind.

"It's alright Pup, we are going to help you."

He hardly heard his whispered thank you but that didn't matter to him. And for a while he thought that he saw his eyes waver and he waited because he couldn't think of anything else to do. When they finally made their way back the rest of the pack had already headed to the cabin and out of the rain that was now no more than a drizzle. Harry was unsure on his legs and they took longer than expected to get to the house, it was even worse when he had to climb the stairs, determined to get up them without any help.

As soon as they entered the house, there were hit with the smell of barbeque and the empty room proved that all of the others had already gathered in the backyard for something to eat. Paul was waiting but left slowly at Sam's nod, understanding that his presence would have done more harm than good. When Paul left Emily came in. she looks several times between the two men. Sam she knew and the other smaller male she felt like she should have. The dark messy hair struck a chord in and while she couldn't put any previous face to it, there was a whole range of emotions that she felt. His eyes definitely stood out, the called out to her as if pleading with her though she knew that she hadn't seen them before. She was sure that their brilliance is something that she couldn't have forgotten. Strangely enough though it was those same unusual eyes that sparked her memory. It was the intensity in them, the swirl of emotions like the shades of an emerald as light shone through it; it was the stormy depths and most importantly the fondness. There was compassion in his eyes and also fear, fear and uncertainty. She remember seeing it all before, of a different color and in a different face but the intensity the story they seemed to tell spoke volumes. When she first saw eyes like his they were on the face of a small wolf puppy, and it struck her from across the clearing and drew her in, they held more feeling than she saw in most people much less a simple animal. She couldn't have brushed him off if she wanted to she felt like she knew those eyes even if she had no idea about the person they were attached to. However it wasn't the eyes that sealed the deal, the epiphany came when she could finally draw her eyes away from his and could roam over the rest of his face, all foreign except for the small scar on his forehead. The recalled the same scar on the puppy, a thin sliver of skin where the hair had just refused to grow over, it wasn't very obvious as his hair was so long but she had noticed it then and she was noticing it now. For a second after the truth hit her Emily couldn't breathe, she couldn't even blink, couldn't decide how she felt. Since she had first saved the puppy Emily was connected to it, felt as though she was duty bound to protect it. She was always worried when it trotted back off into the woods. She always knew that she cared for the puppy than it made sense to. She was happy and angry at the same time. She was ecstatic to have in in front of her as he was but could help feeling betrayed.

Harry couldn't bring himself to look directly at her. Sam approached her and kissed her. She responded more out of habit than anything else. Sam he mumbled Harry's introduction in her ear and she could only half listen. He didn't tell her much that she didn't know except for the fact that Harry himself didn't know. He didn't know where he was, or how he got there. Then there was the undertone to Sam's voice that told her that there was more to the story. When Sam drew away from her ear called Harry's named intending to introduce them formally, harry looked up and their eyes met. Harry seemingly uncontrollably started blurting out and apology, it was mostly mumbled and largely nonsensical, a jumble of fast words and broken phrases as he unsuccessfully tried to explain and waylay and mal feelings. Emily could care less what he had to say, she was stuck on his expression, it was helpless, scared, guilty, it was the same expression Sam had after he had marked her face.

She hadn't intended to embrace him, had not though she would find herself hugging a practical stranger but she was. Neither Emily nor Harry understood why it felt so right and comfortable. But it made Emily squeeze the smaller male tighter and it made harry want to pull away and hide. When they finally separated Harry spoke again.

"I truly am sorry, I never meant to mislead you, I honestly didn't mean anything bad by it..."

"It's okay, I'm hurt yeah but I understand and I'm not mad at you. Let's just cross this bridge and move on yeah?"

Sam gulped from where he was across the room remembering those exact same words from a time before, when Emily's scars were angry gashes and his heart felt as though it was trying to wrench itself from him. It soothed him then, it was soothing Harry now.

Harry nodded, clearly uncomfortable with the familiarity that Emily dealt him. Sam wondered if she felt the same connection to Harry that he did. As the imprint of the Alpha she felt a connection to the entire pack but Sam's connection to him was different and it seemed that this translated to Emily to even before Harry had been a part of the pack.

"We better hurry up and get you fed before the rest of the guys finish all the food, Sam can you grab the rest of the raw meat off the counter and bring it out back?"

She took Harry's had and dragged him through the house and into the backyard. She wasn't going to question his being there especially when the pack themselves weren't worrying over it. Sam took over the grill while Emily and Harry sat on the steps staring out into the yard. The rest of the pack were well into their feast, and showed no sign of slowing down, taking their share directly from the grill when they believed it was ready. They all seemed at home sitting comfortably on the logs that formed a makeshift circle in the middle of the yard. When Sam fixed Emily's burger, it only felt right to fix one for Harry as well, though he would think of doing it for any of the others. He tentatively picked at it, each bite was taken sneakily as though he were waiting to be interrupted, and it was a habit that Emily noticed since she knew him as just a puppy. The pack tried to include him in the conversations but he only gave brief words and settled for gesturing most of the time. Paul snuck glances at him the entire time though his instincts were telling him to wait rather than approach and claim, so he did. Harry watches him as well seemingly grateful that he was keeping his distance. As always the new addition to the pack, everything just shifts to accommodate them. The awkwardness is there but the communal mentality is stronger. Enough so that no one felt like they had to question Harry's origins. It was a kind of acceptance that came with experience, with knowledge. They were all used to the supernatural and unlikely and they learnt to adapt. Harry felt overwhelmed as he tried to sort through the new reality that implanted himself in his mind. The company could only take comfort in that stranger things have happened.


	5. Chapter 5

It was an unspoken agreement that Harry would stay with Sam and Emily. It was already a rallying point for the pack and even if they had tried to send him somewhere else they doubted that he would have agreed to go. It only made sense to the rest of the pack but as the night went on harry worried about it more and more. He had been tired since the walk home and after being stuffed with food at the barbecue and sitting with the others around the campfire he was barely sitting up straight. At some point he and Emily had went to sit with the others in the circle around the fire and Paul had gravitated to his side. They were both obviously uneasy with the proximity but it was still a strange comfort to harry to have him that close. When the air got colder he gave harry the shirt that he had slung over his shoulder but neglected to put on. He tried to include harry in the pack's conversation, explaining things as the night went on. Harry was grateful for the running commentary especially since it prevented any awkward silences and it seemed as though Paul didn't actually expect him to respond. The later it got the lesser the conversation became and now harry was listening to them sing old tribal songs. He hadn't noticed when Emily stood from his side until he saw her sitting next to Sam opposite him and Paul. Harry would've sworn that he had only blinked but when his eyes open again his head was leaning on Paul's shoulder and Sam was waking him. If he were any less tired he would have blushed but all he had the sense to do was stand and follow Sam into the house.

Sam was more tactile once they were out of the site of the rest the pack. As soon as he closed the door he grabbed Harry's hand. The older male led Harry up to the second floor not bothering to give him a tour because he knew that he was too sleepy to remember, except for pointing out the bathroom he rook him straight to the room. Their home was fairly large for the reservation; it had several extra bedrooms and acted as a second home for all of the pack at some point or another. Sam put harry in the room that had an adjoining door to his and Emily's, the room they had planned as a nursery when the time came. It was set up just like the other rooms for the time being but they had never let anyone sleep in it before.

"Well I guess this is where you will be staying for now; it isn't the best but its home. We will have to get everything sorted with the elders before we can make anything permanent"

Sam went over to the closet and pulled put a cardboard box leaving harry standing awkwardly at the door and staring at the room. He didn't realize that Sam was still talking to him until he called his name again. The room was bare but not necessarily in a bad way. The only other time he had a room for himself it was his cousin's second room and full of his things so it wasn't hard to remember that it wasn't really his. This room was like a blank slate. It had nothing to suggest a previous inhabitant Harry didn't think that it would have affected him as much as it did. To anyone else he was sure it would just have been a bare room. But to him it was his room, just his regardless of how briefly that may be. All of a sudden he wasn't so tired.

"Sam I appreciated all of this, I really do but I don't want to cause any problems. I can always go back into the forest. I mean your elders…"

"You're a part of my pack Harry, which means you are family and on top of that your wolf is just a puppy. I am upset enough that you were in the woods so long by yourself and there is no way I am letting you go back there."

Harry blinked stupidly. He wanted to say something, argue his point or something but he found that he couldn't.

"Get into bed, you look like you are about to pass out."

Harry felt strange about getting between the sheets especially since he was still covered in the filth of the woods but his weariness seemed to flood back and he was too drained to care. Sam draped a blanket over him that he hadn't noticed before. He guessed that was what Sam had gotten from the box. He thanked Sam again just as he gave into sleep unable to fight it off once his head hit the pillow.

The sun didn't wake harry the next day as it usually did and he slept late into the afternoon. It was the voices that eventually stirred him. He woke quickly as always. He immediately realized that he was once again in his animagus form. It puzzled him that the clothes he was wearing were bundle next to him rather than transforming with him but shrugged it off as one less thing that he would have to explain. It also didn't take long for him to realize the voices that had woken him up. Some of them he could recognize and others he didn't but he knew instinctively that they belonged to the elders and he could clearly hear them talk about him.

"I don't know how else to explain this to you. I know harry imprinted on Paul but for some reason their bond is still subdued it is like quill and Claire's, however I fell like there is a bond between him Emily and I. Even if he hadn't imprinted on Paul I still would have inducted him, it's like the wolf in me knew him."

"This certainly is unusual but considering who my son imprinted on I would be the last one to judge imprints"

"But Bill you must admit it kind of makes sense."

Harry wasn't expecting to hear a woman's voice as one of the elders but if she was on his die then it didn't matter to him.

"Sam did say that the boy's wolf form is just a wolf cub and since he had woken up in the forest Emily was the first person he had seen and she saved his life. It's just like with ducklings. The first thing they see they imprint on, not romantically but they recognize whatever or whomever as their mother. This is probably what happened between him and Emily and because Sam and Emily are mates that feeling translated across that bond."

"That may be so but what do we do about his sudden appearance, I can't be the only one that finds it weird."

"He was in a war like we were we know how they can be, the tricks they can play. It is not hard to conceive that they have something to do with him getting here and not remembering it. I wouldn't have been the first time the cold ones have messed with the mind and emotions of our kind. "

"And what of his old tribe?"

"All dead, everyone he knew perished in the fight. He was spared because he was a harmless puppy, he slipped between the cracks."

"Then how…"

"He was rescued, or brought here to die….he collapsed and he woke up here. I bet it had something to do with the strange smell in the woods a while back. The volturi had been hunting the entire werewolf population in Europe, maybe someone wanted to keep him safe maybe one of the cold ones that fought beside us brought him here to keep him safe."

"We will have to see. However as to the matter at hand, Harry can stay. Given his connection to you and Emily and Paul there is no alternative. The will of the wolf shan't be denied"

"Now we wish to see him."

Several moments later there was a knock on the bedroom door, he called out enter but it came out as a bark. He was expecting Sam but it was Emily. She was smiling brightly carrying a bundle of clothes under her arm.

"Look at you, so used to being a wolf you can't stay human for a day, o bet this wasn't even on purpose, and you probably shifted back in your sleep."

The puppy Harry found himself wagging his tail and yipping in agreement. She petted him briefly before sitting on the bed.

"Sam had the council over early this morning to discuss you being here. He didn't want to wake you because well they can be stubborn and he didn't want you there in case the talk turned sour. But it is more or less settled now, Sam was able to answer all the questions thanks to that mind reading thing the pack has and they have agreed to let you stay with us. They just want to see you now, so if you could just shift back and get dressed. When that's over you can come back in and clean up than meet me in the kitchen for lunch, seeing as you missed breakfast."

She left as bubbly as she came her mood much brighter than last night and harry just wanted to spend the rest of the day soaking in her enthusiasm much like he did before. He hurried to get dressed. The sooner he met the elders the quicker they would leave.

His speed and enthusiasm vanished when he hit the bottom of the stair and all the eyes turned to him. He froze as he felt their eyes roam over him and didn't move until Sam approached him. He didn't try to pull him from his place at the bottom of the stairs, in fact all he did was point of who was who and seeing as he could have done that from across the room he figure it was more to give him support. The elder's eyes were cold and wary, they were calculating and he repressed a shiver. They didn't trust him, they obviously didn't like him very much but they had allowed him into their tribe.

"Thank you for allowing me to stay. All I have known for the past few months is the forest and the pack is all I have now. I don't know what I would have done if you had forbad it. I promise not to make you regret you decision."

"You are a part of our pack now, you share a connection. That means you are family. You are Quileute. You will learn our history and live our culture. Take part in our customs and share our tribal beliefs. In a week we will share our history."

Without any other pleasantries the elders left the house faintly nodding at Sam before walking out the door. Then as if by magic, Emily popped up as soon as they had shut the door behind them. And harry found himself pulled into a hug. When she finally let him go she was rattling on about a to do list, presumably for him but he was only focused on one he walked back upstairs still the only thing he wanted to think of was a hot shower.


	6. Chapter 6

For all intents and purposes Harry was a hero; he had saved an entire culture, an entire world if you will. He had been through more than any one person should ever have to face. He liked to think that he was resilient and adaptable. His survival for as long as he could remember counted on him being able to handle his situation, assessing it and learning to deal with whatever challenges he found himself facing. That was why he found it so hard to believe that the best thing to ever happen to him was throwing him for such a loop. Every night he went to bed thinking that he was the luckiest person on the planet and very morning he woke up thinking it was all a dream. The first night he slept at Sam's he rested like a log, he had never slept that long or peacefully in his entire life. However it seemed as though that was only meant to be a one-time thing. Ever since then nightmares plagued him as soon as he shut his eyes for anything longer than a blink; from long disturbing scenes that played out for hours or quick flashes that he couldn't identify but left him shaken none the less. He was scared and he had every right to be. His past didn't just torment his dreams but they also shadowed his waking life, he knew that sooner or later his past and his lies would catch up with him and his happiness would be stolen once more.

Sam and Emily knew that he was having nightmares. Harry knew that they knew he was having nightmares. And they knew that Harry knew that they knew that he was having nightmares. Harry would wake up at night crying, trembling, and scared to death and all he wanted to do was open the door that connected their rooms and run into their bed and let them protect him from his thoughts. Sam and Emily would wake up to Harry's cries at night wanting nothing more than to go in and comfort him. Both parties were at a standstill. In small things Harry allowed himself to be mothered. He didn't mind them taking his hand or fusing over his hair but this was something else entirely. How would react to their comfort and how drastically would that change the relationship that they were trying so hard to regulate. They had all heard the words of the council but they were still practically strangers how does one just forget about personal boundaries and embrace a connection like theirs. This made their living together awkward; all three of them were fighting their instincts afraid to push further than the other was willing to go.

Harry had found solace in Paul. Their time together while not totally ideal was one of the highlights of Harry's days. He was a daily visitor, coming sometimes to talk to Sam but always spending at least an Hour with Harry, every day, without fail. He would take harry around the reservation, sometimes outside and into the heart of forks. They went out to eat, to the movies, to the beach. And they talked. It reminded him of talking with Ron and Hermione. It was a friend ship thing; he was a comfort to him. Sure his heart jumped when they got too close and sometimes Paul would give him a compliment him and he would blush but it never went further. In fact Paul had sat and explained to him that he was unable to think of him romantically not because he couldn't see them together in a relationship but because Harry wasn't ready for one and the imprint bond depended on the state of the 'submissive' partner; usually the non-wolf but it was different in their case.

The elders had started to tell Harry stories of the Quileute tribe, apparently as with all new inductees to the wolf pack they had several bonfires to retell the stories. For them it was because the stories took on new meaning when they became actual shifters rather than it being a legend. For harry it was a completely new experience. He found the gatherings rather nice and familial but the histories sent a shiver down his back. He could practically feel the magic of the reservation move as the stories were told, similar to the way the aura of Hogwarts had felt. It was obvious to him that the Quileute legends were very real history lessons, and though they sounded far-fetched they were very real and rooted deep in magic. Though sentient rather than willful as harry was used to. They were small bonfires with the pack and some with the whole tribe. Slowly he was being accepted into the small society gradually believing that a tribe with a history as preternatural as theirs would be more accepting of his past when the time came for him to reveal it.

Harry had been a part of the pack for nearly a month and given that he was always a bit of a sore thumb he found that he was finding a niche pretty well. It was as though his wolf animagus had bonded with his human mind and he was able to adapt based on his newly acquired instincts.

The Quileute tribe may have been shifters and not werewolves but that doesn't mean that they weren't affected by the full moon. It still called them, drew them out and made their instincts undeniable. The full moon was dangerous because it made their wolf harder to suppress. And while the full moon was only one day the pull was there for about a week. Emily had left. Apparently it was around the full moon that Sam had lost control and inured her and he refused to allow her around him during the times when he was susceptible to the effects of the moon. He had actually wished that she could take harry with her, concerned for the small wolf pup around a pack of volatile werewolves but he could see the sense in letting him stay. Despite his smaller size he was a wolf and furthermore being separated from his pack for the full moon would de distressing to him, especially as it was to be his first as part of a pack.

Normally the pack was fairly level headed. While they embraced their wolves as a part of themselves, their human minds were always in control. Their rationality would determine the cause of their actions; their instinct was only the fuel behind them. This balance was changed during this time. The instincts became more and more prominent and harder to control. They still held control in their human minds but they were more impulsive, in thought and action. Paul's visits were briefer out of fear that he would lose control of his anger or worse whatever block that he had on his desire for the smaller wolf. Harry found himself spending more and more time with Sam. I fact whenever the older male had free time harry was found with him. The rift that had been forming between them as they had restricted their bond was being torn apart with the impact of the full moon. It was a painful experience for them both knowing that what they yearned for was on the other side of a door but their human hang-ups keeping them from their hearts impulses. The thing is the pull of the moon was such that it could affect even their normal mental processes with them being aware, which was why isolation form the others was necessary. As the moon got stronger the bond that had formed between them would become impossible to deny in their proximity. Just as Sam felt pain when he tried to deny himself Emily, they were both feeling pain by trying to distance themselves emotionally and the lunar phase only enhanced it.

The first night Emily had left there wasn't much change. Harry still had his nightmares, woke up screaming and fell asleep crying into the darkness of his room. Sam had sat up listening to Harry's distress but unsure how to comfort him, dropping to sleep only after Harry's sniffles had ceased. However as was becoming more and more frequent, in about an hour Harry was once again in the throes of a nightmare, though this time the scene changed. Normally harry dreamed about the war. He relived the torture and the uncertainty, woke up screaming for it to stop. Since harry had been with the pack he hadn't had a dream about his time before the war, namely the abuse he suffered at the hands of the Dursley's. It had affected him deeper than he had wanted anyone to know and it did plague him from time to time. It had bothered him when he stayed with the Weasley's. He had let himself get caught up in the feel of having a family, at least in his head he had brothers and sisters, and he had a mom and dad. Then at night he would fall asleep and he would be reminded of his real family and why what he wanted could never really be. He would scream then as though it were any other nightmare, the unconscious state making his despair harder to contain, and while he could tell others he couldn't remember the truth of the matter was that he spent every day wishing that he could forget.

Harry's second nightmare of the night wasn't one of war but the loss he had been dealing with his entire life. He called out first for his father and then when he found that he wasn't coming he called for his mother only to be proven useless. For harry these were the worst because unlike the ones that stem from the war he was helpless and completely hopeless. The feeling of loss had never been more crippling and his cries went unheeded. It wasn't bad in that his mind made the scenario worse but it was just that bad and he knew that it was the worst because of how it had imprinted on his brain even as a baby.

Harry's nightmare once again woke Sam and he knew that it was different from all the others. He wasn't thrashing around as much as the others and he wasn't as vocal. Normally he was fighting a war but for once harry seemed helpless, he wasn't fighting, just experiencing. The pitiful noises he mad wrenched Sam's heart more than the screams that he was used to. Then he heard it.

"Da! Da! Daddy! DADDY! Daddy…..daddy."

Sam got out of bed and for the first time approached the adjoining door. He felt like crying when he heard the desperation in Harry's voice. It was as though he was screaming for his life, as though it was all he could do. He was silent for a beat, and then started once more, this time screaming for his mommy. But what threw Sam over the edge and had him barging through the door was when Harry started crying out for Emily.

"Em! Em! EM!" Harry's nightmare had just shifted. Suddenly he was back in the forest being hunted down. Like the first time Emily was there to save him but this time instead of scaring the beast of, it turned on her. It attacked her and killed her and he could not do anything to stop it. All he could do was watch as she fought to save their lives and failed. He called to her willing her not to be gone but he knew it as hopeless no matter what. When Sam heard him calling for Emily he burst through the door only to see harry curled on the bed, no longer screaming but continuously mumbling into his pillow. At first it was 'mommy and daddy' then 'Emily and Sam' blending at though in Harry's mind they had come to mean one and the same. Sam couldn't help himself. He knelt at the side of the bed harry curled towards. His hand reached up gently to stroke the sweat soaked hair and he began to whisper words of comfort into the younger wolf's ear. He had thought over what he was going to say but the words came of their own accord.

"Shh, it's okay pup. Daddy's here…you're safe now." He repeated this as harry continued to ramble. He wasn't sure when it happened but eventually he realized that Harry was now only saying 'daddy'. He kept up his petting of Harry's hair, vaguely noting that his knees were starting to ache from the press of the floor. Just as he was about to withdraw Harry's eyes opened. At first they were unfocused and cloudy from sleep and then they sharpened with awareness. Harry's cheeks flushed and so did Sam's. After all the avoidance they had finally reached a point where they had to face their own imprint head on.

"I'm sorry…I didn't…I mean…and…it…" Harry was panicking, and that was something he hadn't done in a long time. If he felt like he couldn't handle something he found a way around it. Now he was stuck.

"Harry, calm down." Sam was freaking out on the inside but the thanked god that something was keeping it hidden. He got up from his place next to the bed and sat on it instead.

"There is nothing for you to be sorry about, you haven't done anything wrong."

"I woke you up…"

"And what's wrong with that. It's not like you came rushing in my bedroom and jumped on me. You were having a nightmare and I choose to get up and come see to you."

"You didn't have to."

"I wanted to."

"But, why. I'm just some stranger you met in the forest. You have no obligation to me. You could have left me there…"

"Just stop it Harry. What are you talking about? You know that you are more than that. You're not some stranger. You are a part of the pack, part of our tribe, our family. We want you to be, you belong with us, and fate wouldn't have brought you here if that wasn't the case. I know that you have had to get used to fending for yourself but you don't have to anymore."

"You don't know me Sam!" Harry kicked off the covers and jumped out of bed to begin pacing the room.

"You don't know my past, the things I have done. I've…I've killed people Sam."

"You were in a war, and if you were as horrible as you thought you were it wouldn't haunt your sleep every night. My entire Pack has killed harry and you and I both know it is not just the bare fact that we have killed. Everything happens in a context I know that so don't try and make it seem so damning. I don't know your past harry, but I do know you. And I trust you. I know that all of this has everything to do with whatever you dream about and if you're not ready to tell me I won't push. But we do have something that we need to talk about."

"Sam…"

"You called me Daddy, you called out to me."

"Sam, just drop it."

"That is not going to happen. Just sit down so we can talk." He walked across the room twice more before huffing and collapsing unto the bed, accepting that Sam wasn't going to let him weasel his way out of it.

"Harry. Did we ever tell you that you were the first person to ever use this room? Emily and I built the house planning that one day this would be a nursery. The pack stayed here all the time but no matter how tight the squeeze, how tight things got, we never let anyone else in this room. It was for our child, it didn't feel right letting anyone else use it. It never felt right, it felt like we were already putting the pack over our family and I promised that I would never let that happen. Emily's been pregnant but she had always miscarried. The doctors weren't sure she would ever be able to carry a baby to term, then she got close and it was a still born. We had pretty much stopped trying, and I pushed myself into the pack and if we weren't imprints our relationship would have been over. But despite that, despite the fact that we had accepted we would most likely never be parents, even though we had devoted or time and home to nurturing the pack, we have never even let them inside here. We always had a sit of stray hope that everything would work out."

"Sam, what are you …"

"When you came you change something. When Emily started caring for you at first I sensed a change in her. She glowed like she used to and strange as the relationship was she loved you more than she could explain. She talked about you every night and worried about you because she couldn't protect you. Then when I saw you that day in the clearing, something just clicked. I was drawn to you to, my wolf didn't feel you the way it did the rest of the pack. You were something more. And I know you felt it too. I know that you can't deny that there is a special dynamic between us. Why deny it."

"I can't. Sam if you knew my past knew what I've done you would feel that way; I can't be your…that."

"Can't be what harry? Our son. Paul told me that sometimes you joke about us being your parents but he can tell that it's more than that. How sometimes when you run together he sees your dreams how you wished we would comfort you when you woke up but how sacred you were for what it would mean. I know you lost your parents when you were a baby, and I know that you blame yourself. You blame yourself for everyone you love getting hurt and dying in the war. I know you're afraid that you being here is going to bring us harm. But you know what? I call bullshit. I think on some level you know that it's not your fault but someone took the time to drill it into your head and you can't help but believe because no one told you otherwise."

"They died for me Sam. They died protecting me. I was the cause of the entire war. If I hadn't been born maybe my parents…"

"Your parents loved you. They died because they loved you, because they knew that you are worth it, there is no blame. Like your parents it was a choice, they loved you and they believed in you .if you weren't born think of where they would be now… I would die protecting Emily and I wouldn't want her to feel blame, just like you didn't blame anyone for expecting you to shoulder the fate of a war. You would have died and been happy knowing that your loved ones went one. And that is what they wanted for you. "

"But it's not fair, I don't deserve it."

"Who said? Sam hadn't meant the question to be answered but judging by his body language it had hit a nerve towards something deeper.

"I know you won't want to tell me right now but trust me when I say that they were wrong. "

"I know. I know that but I can't help it. It's irrational but sometimes I need to hear reassurance from somebody else. I just can't be okay on my own because I can't comfort. I need people to be there, to remind me that I'm good. I need someone else believing in me before I can believe in myself. It's pathetic and ridiculous but I need that. I am tired of hero…"

"I'm not asking you to be a hero, and I don't want to support yourself. Family supports each other. And more than anything I, we want to be there for you. What do you want Harry. What is it that you want most?"

Sam's word took harry back to another time, to a certain mirror in a certain castle. And if there was only one question he knew how to answer that would be it.

"A family…I want parents that love me, who don't expect me to do anything but be myself."

Harry couldn't raise his head. For the entire talk he had focused on the lines of his palm, hiding the tears that had been threatening since he woke up to find Sam at his bedside. He had tried to keep himself composed but he couldn't stop his voice from breaking on that last sentence and when Sam touched his arm as a gesture of comfort he broke down completely. His hands flew up to cover his face just as Sam's arm closed around him. He didn't fight it was he was pulled against Sam's chest. The older man was so much larger than him. He truly felt like a small boy being comforted by his father, totally safe and secure in his embrace. The warmth that radiated off of Sam was a pleasant change to the cool night air that had begun to bite as it cut through clothes that had been soaked with sweat during his nightmare. All he could think of were the nights in the Dursley's house when he had went to sleep imaging just this rather than the spiders in his cupboard.

"That's all I want for you harry, that's what I want to give to. The question is will you let me."

Harry's hands stayed plaster to his face, but he jerked his head and left out a thick muffled 'yes' obviously trying to hold back even more tears. Eventually Sam could feel him start to calm. The sobs stopped shaking his shoulders and his breathing started to slow. He moved his hangs from his face in a gesture that was meant to wipe the tears from his cheeks but he never put them back up, instead loosely draping them around his torso.

"I wish Em was here."

"So do I, we can call her tomorrow and talk about things, about this."

Harry tried to answer but yawned instead. Sam looked down at him. His eyes were red rimmed and swollen, his face flushed and hair disheveled. He had hardly been sleeping before and they were both feeling drained from their conversation. Sam could hear the other's heart beat slowing down in a way that let Sam know that Harry was very near to falling asleep. He moved to release him. Harry resisted.

"No. if you leave the nightmares are going to come back."

Sam couldn't deny that, his heart clenched when he remember what started the conversation in the first place.

"Stay. Please? Just this once?"

Sam didn't bother saying that it probably wasn't going to be a one-time thing or that he didn't mind either way. Rather he lowered himself to lie on the pillows never releasing Harry from his arms. Within minutes Harry was asleep. Before he succumbed himself he placed a kiss on Harry's forehead, nuzzling his hair with his nose, the wolf in him happy at the developments that had taken place.


	7. Chapter 7

When Harry woke up the next morning he was still in Sam's embrace. It was a weird waking up in another man's arms especially considering that this other man had no relation to him and they hadn't really known each other for all that long and especially considering that there were no romantic feelings or anything between them other than a connection that harry had begun to see was purely familial. If it were anyone else in the pack other than ail he knew that while he may not have desired them he wouldn't have been able to embrace the situation this platonically. He had often found himself staring at the other wolves admiring their bodies and faces, that was completely absent with Sam. Just thinking about it made harry feel squirmy and guilty inside. Instead when harry took in the body pressed so tightly to his and the hard planes of muscle that bracketed his body all he could think was 'safe'. Sam's hold screamed protection and he admired him not for his attractiveness but for the strength and protectiveness he exuded. There was a large part of harry that wanted to stay where he was and bask in that feeling but he couldn't help the niggling of doubt, the small spark of fear that started in his gut when he thought of family, because as much as he tried to disregard it when he thought family he thought of the Dursley's. Harry froze trying desperately to detach their name form the bond he was growing with Sam but it still overwhelmed him. The fear and uncertainty reached a crescendo. Sam and the others didn't know that he was a wizard and he couldn't stop that small dark part of him from thinking that they would be just as hateful and disgusted as the Dursley's. He was strong he had dealt with everything they could dish out and more than they could have dreamed up but he didn't have the will for it anymore. It was one thing when all he knew was abuse and fear, when his days were shadowed by someone wishing to hurt him but now it was different. He had gotten a taste of a better life, he had all but put that reality behind him and now it was staring him the face once more. All of a sudden Sam's arms were the last place that he wanted to be. All he could think of was how much things would change when he found out the truth. He tried to pull himself away, to disentangle himself from the mass of arms and legs that here holding him prone. It was raising a conflict in his belly, he was scared of Sam and yet he was marinating in his hold and protection. Harry felt hopeless. It was like he was being tortured again and he was torn between whether he wanted to live or die. The tears took him by surprise, he hadn't felt them welling up and the wetness on his cheeks startled him, made him feel even more torn and out of control. And as if the tears on his face were a catalyst he started shaking, he didn't think he could hold it in even if he wanted to. He started crying out, and he wanted to be comforted. He didn't know where that desire came from. He hadn't wanted a comfort like that since he was a small child, crying out for mommy and daddy, even when he knew they weren't going to come. He cried out then, when the tears began to fall he felt like bursting and the child like whimper was ripped from him.

"Daddy." The small plea jerked Sam from his sleep. Within an instant he was sitting up and holding Harry in his lap.

"What's wrong, did you have another nightmare?' He shook his head into the others chest.

"Are you in pain?" he shook his head again

"Then what is it Harry? I can't make it better if you don't tell me."

"I don't want you to hurt me."

"I would never hurt you harry, what are you saying."

"You will, once you find out who I am…"

"I told you last night Harry…I doesn't what you've done in the past or how bad you think it is but that isn't going to make me stop caring about you."

"But I'm a freak."

"Don't say that Harry. Being different doesn't make you a freak, all it means is that you were meant for something more. "

"No, I really am a freak…I'm not a shifter Sam!" Harry struggled to get free of Sam's arms but instead the older man only tightened his grip, refusing to let him go, refusing to stop comforting him.

"What do you mean Harry?"

"I'm something different… I really am a freak."

"Harry...if all you can say is that you're a freak I would rather not hear it. "

"I just don't want you to hurt me."

"I would never harm you harry nor will anyone else if I can help it."

Sam paused for a while as a thought came to mind. It was unexpected to even him but his wolf had already decided on the direction it wanted the relationship to go and the human half of him agreed with it. It seemed like they both had revelations to make that morning. It was like an urgency and he believed he understood why harry so wanted to tell him his secret even though it was obviously a weak point for him. He felt as though he needed to get all his thoughts and expectations about them out n the open. He expected that the urgency with which things were moving along had everything to do with the full moon, however he wasn't complaining.

"You know up until the time I moved out of my parent's house when I phased, I always felt like I could depend on them for anything. It didn't matter that they were getting older or weaker, I felt safe with them, and protected. I guess it was just mental but I felt invincible because I knew that as long as I had them, anyone or thing that wanted to hurt me would have to go through them first. It didn't matter what I did, no matter how bad, if I needed to be punished I would be, and okay maybe that hurt but…"

"Your parents beat you?"

"No Harry. They disciplined me…there is a difference."

"But…"

"When I was younger and my father put me over his lap or even when I got older and bigger than him and he would strap me, it was never about the beating, I never felt like I was being beaten. I always knew that I had done something wrong and he was correcting me. I always knew that I deserved it. Sometimes I even needed it to feel good again, because when I had to wait I knew that he was disappointed in me and that hurt me the most. And then when I was punished, he would comfort me even though sometimes I tried to push him away and I knew that I was forgiven and I wouldn't have to worry or feel guilty over it anymore. When people abuse you they just want to hurt you, they don't care for your wellbeing it is only for their enjoyment. My father didn't like having to punish me."

Harry could tell that Sam was slightly miffed when he accused his parents of beating him. Then when he went on to explain the difference harry could hear just how deeply Sam felt about his parents and if he wasn't mistaken how grateful he was to be brought up the way he was.

"When someone disciplines you it hurts them more because they love you and they do it to make you better. When someone beats you it makes them happy and they do it to make you hurt. My parents didn't want me hurt; they helped mould me into the person I am."

Harry felt ashamed that he had even hinted at Sam's parents abusing him and he hastened to apologize.

"'M sorry…I didn't mean to…"

Sam watched as harry visibly tried to take in what Sam had told him and it was then that Sam knew. Harry may not have said it but he could see in his face, in his eyes that Harry had been abused by his family. He could see the confusion as he tried to make sense of what Sam was saying and the longing that hid behind it. It made him want to crush the boy to his chest harder and he only refrained from doing so because he remembered that he was squeezing harry fairly tightly as it was.

"Did someone hurt you Harry? Someone beat you."

Sam wasn't really asking a question and that made Harry tense. He had no clue how Sam was able to get to that conclusion but it was right and he didn't have the heart to deny the man.

"Sam…"

"Your family abused you?"

"Please…"

"Made you feel like everything you did was wrong, made you afraid to trust people."

"S...Sam…please"

"They made you think of yourself as a freak."

"But I am a freak Sam, they had every right…"

"Why do you think that?"

Harry opened his mouth to speak and shut it again. Truthfully he had no reason to think of himself as a freak. Hadn't over time the very things that made him a freak, morphed into what gave in a place and a purpose. He wasn't as weird as he had been taught. In fact he was normal for his kind. He couldn't really answer why because it only seemed weak to his own mind. He had lost the reason since he first entered Hogwarts but he had always found little things to nitpick about to keep that self view in his mind. He couldn't really tell Sam why he was a freak but he could tell him why he shouldn't care for him as he did.

"I'm a wizard Sam, not a shifter. I can only shift because of my magic but I am not one of you."

Harry went on to explain the best that he could. He was thankful that Sam's arms never left from him as he spoke because he felt like he was being stripped apart emotionally. It was so hard to start at the beginning from his parents death, to his life with the Dursley's to Voldemort and the war. It was hardest to speak of his aunt and uncle and it surprised him. Those wounds ran the deepest despite the war and it had been the first time he really let himself ace them and it was different now to when he was younger. Before he felt as though he deserved what they did and he accepted it as a kind of repentance even though it made it hurt more rather than heal him the way Sam spoke about. The war seemed unreal as if it was well and truly past and with his words to Sam the stains it left on him were being cleaned away. He was so happy that Sam didn't push him away didn't even seemed phased he only held him and listened, offering small questions to prod him to continue and holding him when all he could let out were tears. When he was done him being a wizard was the smallest part of their discussion in fact it didn't even seem to really matter anymore. Harry was amazed that after he had finished his story to date that Sam actually remember what had started his discussion in the first place. However he did. He took each and every one of the problems Harry had and addressed them.

"…Before the Quileute were wolves we were people of magic. Our oldest legends talk about men who could use the hidden power of nature to do their bidding, women who could brew medicines to solve any problem, sickness or otherwise. However over time it is said that we lost the earthly connection that we had and the magic faded. When it finally resurfaced again was when the cold ones came however only one thing seemed effective and that is what was passed down while all the other arts were lost. We may not be wizards like you harry but there has always been some truth to or legends. And we are not so dense to think that we are the only supernatural beings on the face of the earth. You are a friend and a brother in or history not an enemy. This won't affect your membership in the pack if anything it would only make the elders more receptive, they might use your knowledge to try and recapture what we lost of ours."

Harry had never thought of it that way, hadn't even entertained the possibility but when Sam, when his daddy said it, it seemed like the only plausible thing. Harry smiled in spite of himself.

"Who knew that being a freak would have been a good thing?"

Harry was shocked to find himself pushed away from Sam's chest and staring straight into his eyes.

"Remember how I said earlier that parents punish us when we are wrong and want us to do better?"

"Yes?"

"IF you ever refer to yourself as a freak again, I promise you, I will have you over my knee faster than you can blink. Do you understand me?"

"That's…"

"I said do you understand me, Harry?"

"Yes Daddy."

Harry blushed. He hadn't meant to call Sam that out loud but his mind had already made the shift to thinking of him as such and the words slipped out without him thinking. He ducked his head then peaked up at Sam to see his expression. He was pleased to find the other male smiling. They had decided in the end that having a visit with Emily wasn't the best thing to do as recent developments had left their wolves even harder to control and neither of them was willing to take the risk. They did however talk to her over the phone. Sam had spent the better part of an hour trying to explain what had happened to Emily. Admittedly he ended up leaving out quite a bit but she got enough of the story so that when she and harry did talk his wolf was soothed by the presence, or at least the voice of a maternal figure. He had called Sam 'Dad' several times; it still made him blush with self consciousness, he didn't feel right just calling either of them by their first names but it was strange having someone to refer to as parents. However strangle enough this only bothered him when he gave himself time to think it over, whenever they were actually interacting it slipped from him before he could think about it. Speaking to Emily he found was different to his interactions with Sam. Sam made him feel safe and protected Emily just made him feel warm all over, when she spoke to him even though it was just over the phone all harry wanted to do was curl up into her arms and let himself be looked after. Her words were more therapeutic than Sam's where and when she spoke to him about his past and comforted him it felt as though her kindness was cancelling out all the bad that had been done to him in the past. Sam made him feel as though he was never going to be hurt again.

He wolf attached to the sensations he was being bombarded with and reveled in it. And while he was still a bit apprehensive he had decided to stop fighting it and accepted the changes. Granted he hadn't been around any of the pack for the week. Paul was staying away to prevent his wolf from intimidating his imprint but other than that harry was too worried about how the rest of the pack would take the developments that had gone on between him and Sam. He didn't think that they would be hostile or upset but the thought of them teasing or mocking him felt just as bad. He didn't think that he could take that kind of reaction from his new family. The fact of the matter was now that he had allowed himself to face the problems that he had growing up with his aunt and uncle he felt impossibly fragile and he honestly didn't think he could take any negative feelings from his new family whether they were malicious or not. So he hid from them. Now that it was the night of the full moon he knew that he couldn't. He had spoken to Emily about his anxiety and even her comfort couldn't quell the knots he felt forming in the pit of his stomach.

Sam had taken him our early, before the rest of the pack, because as the Alpha he had to be there when the rest of them phased for the evening, he acted like a buffer for the rest of their wolves, it was his presence that stopped them from losing their minds completely. They phased not far from the house, stashing their clothes in the usual clearing before running off. During the full moon the pack stayed just far enough away to still be viable if the reservation needed them although the chances of that had gone down dramatically. In any case it was good for harry to be out before the rest of the pack, he had a chance to run around freely before the rest came out , With their size and the thrall of the night Harry knew that Sam was planning to keep him underfoot once everyone was out together.

The moon was up before the sky had darkened fully and within minutes the rest of the pack had shifted. They all congregated in one area but with the understanding that they were free to roam around the perimeter Sam had set until sunrise the next morning. At first the entire pack just scented in each other, they huddled close and basked in their shared mentality. They very rarely all shifted at once and most time the full moon was the only chance they had to do so. The younger wolves were the first to go leaving the long standing members of the pack. Even as they started to spread out they all remained in the same general vicinity and as they ran Harry could feel the ground shake under his feet even when he could no longer see them. It wasn't until some hours after that Sam approached him. For the course of the night the rest of the pack had been stopping by him to make sure if he needed anything and each time he had refused but Sam was letting him. He led Harry to a small Stream just outside the original perimeter.

_"Emily sent something for you to eat, normally we hunt and eat that but she didn't want that for you. She dropped them off just inside the forest and I caught her scent and she sent that basket.' _

Harry only just noticed the wicker basket that stood not two feet from him upon closer inspection there was still a slight scent form Emily but Sam had overpowered most of it. On top of the basket were his clothes so he guess that they wanted him to shift back, before he could question Sam answered, explaining that Emily had made him promise to get harry fed and changed back before they went to sleep, which they pack usually did in the forest after full moon. They would fall asleep in their wolf forms to wake up human because shifting back after the moon was unusually draining. Emily didn't want Harry sleeping naked in the forest.

He blushed only slightly as he changed, turning his back and quickly pulling up his shorts. Thankfully he now had clothes that fit. Emily hadn't overlooked anything; she made sure to include a sweater and blanket for him as well. He had been cold even in his wolf form so both were welcome.

Sam had stretched out on his side and was lazily watching the younger male. He noticed now that Harry was much more tired than he had thought and understandable so because when he lived in the forest he spent the night hiding from things that were bigger than him, not running around the forest. Eventually harry spread the blanket n the ground and sat nestled against Sam's side. As he picked through the basket he had flashes of the Elementary School when he would watch the other kids going through their lunch kits and trading snacks. It wasn't a happy memory for him but it didn't come with the pang of sadness that he was used to.

All the while he ate Sam was making soft wolfy noises that were a strange comfort to him. By the time he had eaten his fill his eyes were blurry with the effort to keep them open. Sam only shifted slight and Harry leaned into him, sliding down into his fur and into sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

As much as Sam wanted to protect Harry, to keep him locked up in the house away from everyone and everything he was slowly coming to terms with the fact that it wasn't very practical. After the revelations brought on by the full moon Emily and Sam couldn't even bear to be away from harry for too long, they couldn't leave him on his own and when they did it was always with great apprehension that something would happen. It wasn't that they were trying to baby him, or even that they didn't trust the others on the reservation it was the fact that there was a very real, very threatening possibility that Harry's past would catch up to him. It was different when Harry was just a blank slate, just a beloved mystery that had wandered into their lives. Now his existence felt just as threatened as the kids they had dreamed of before him and they were just waiting for someone to try and take him from them however this time they actually had a fighting chance of keeping him.

The first thing that Sam had to do was explain Harry's origin to the elders. He hadn't really wanted to because as much as he had reassured harry he knew that there was no predicting how they would take the news. Secondly it seemed as though Harry's acceptance of the bond between them had jumpstarted the imprint between Harry and Paul. Sam had to find a balance between accepting his paternal instincts and bearing in mind that Harry was nearly an adult that had an entire war in his past and he couldn't afford to try to dictate his life. Quite often He found himself sitting aimlessly in his backyard, he had taken care of the Pack for many years but dealing with Harry for a few months was proving to be more stressful. Sam and Harry were currently holding their breaths waiting for the elders to call them into counsel. Some days ago Harry had told the pack everything, it wasn't entirely on purpose but once he had let the first thought slip he found that he couldn't keep the rest under wraps especially in the face of all their questions. The elders finding out went mush in the same manner. The rest of the pack hadn't been told that the elders didn't know about Harry's past and so when Jacob made a fairly innocent comment to his father about the entire situation everything was out in the open. For several days they had been deliberating, debating about their next course of action. The minds of the elders were split. The first instinct would be to get rid of the boy by any means necessary as he posed an even greater threat to the reservation than the cold ones themselves. Then again, Harry was now a part reservation and even more importantly a part of the pack. He had bot a paternal and romantic imprint in the wolf pack and it was impossible to severe an imprint. More importantly his imprints were the alpha and beta of the pack respectively. Theoretically if the wolf pack authority felt that the elders were abusing their authority and making biased and hurtful decisions they could over rule them. It had happened before and they were sure that if they tried to severe harry from the tribe the wolf pack would retaliate as though they were banishing one of their own and retaliate accordingly. There was also the small side of them that played over Sam's words throughout the entire deliberation. What if Harry's type of magic was what their legends spoke of and if the wolf pack was the current manifestation of that magic would harry be able to help unlock more of it. What if he was the key to regaining the power that the tribe once held? Could they risk not only tearing apart the small population they had left but also throwing away their only chance to reconnect with the magic of their legends?

In truth it shouldn't have taken so long. As risky as it was their hearts wouldn't let them do anything but to let him stay. However, that didn't mean they weren't going to overturn every rock and double check all of their options before they decided. They needed to make sure that they didn't have any doubts or reconsiderations. Even if they were taking a risk they needed to put up a strong and secure front when they announced their intentions.

Sam was seething as he paced the yard. He couldn't understand how the elders could even entertain the thought to send harry from the tribe. He was angry and finding it very hard to contain. If it wasn't for Harry and Emily's presence he was sure he would have phased by now. It was only the fear of what damage his anger could do that kept him in his human form. Harry however had no such concern as he settled himself in Emily's lap. Since his secret came out he had spent the majority of the time as his animagus. Shifting only to eat and when he was sleeping in bed with his parents. He could almost taste the finality in the air when the elders had come to their decision. Before they could even tell what it was harry could feel their solidarity and surety of their decision as if someone had already tried to change their minds and they had proven just why they were so set in their choice. He couldn't help the whimper that escaped him.

The family wasn't sure when the rest of the pack had trickled in but by the time they had finally come to a decision the entire pack and even some of the imprints had gathered to hear the announcement. Harry guessed that the pack could feel it the same ways he did and responded. For days he had spent most of his time waiting on them and the pack would only drop by to check on him but now they were gathered, just another testament to the power of the Quileute. They could affect the very atmosphere around them and they had no idea of how much they were already utilizing their 'lost' magic. In true dramatic fashion, the elders stated that they had come to a decision before they started a long, winding speech meant to stall and heighten the impact. Harry had a sudden flash of Dumbledore in his head. He wasn't a man very fond of long speeches but she sure knew how to stall and even better to make an impact. In a light hearted moment he joked to himself that the intention was the same but the speeches got shorter as the speaker got older. The sound was strange coming from his animagus and to the crowd gathered it was interpreted as one of anxiety of perhaps fears. Almost as soon as the sound left his throat Sam had scooped him from Emily's lap and cradled the pup to his abdomen. He made a sound that would have been called growling if he were a wolf and stared accusingly at the elders who seemed unaffected by it all. As normal they appeared to them as all-knowing unshakable authority over the well-being of the tribe. They fact that they seemed so sure and unruffled made harry uneasy. He knew that the easiest thing would be for them to send him away while it would trouble them to decide to let him stay , considering they seemed so bland he assumed that they had went with the former decision. Harry shook in Sam's arms. The scene seemed to slow down though the words of the elders went unchanged.

"Despite the consequences this may incur upon us we have decided that banishing harry from the tribe and the pack would only be detrimental to the Quileute tribe as a whole. He has integrated physically and spiritually with the tribe and we believe he may also prove to be useful in the deciphering of our legends given the back ground he has. "

Harry had so expected to be banished that he didn't realize just what was being said until afterwards when the rest of the pack had begun voicing their approval of the situation. He only vaguely heard Sam say something along the lines of 'I told you so' before Emily grabbed him once more and spun. She was the most expressive in her relief. Despite the fact that she wasn't pact of the pack and therefore separate to the deep bond that Sam and harry had developed because of it she had still fallen into her role as Harry's mother. Just like that first night when she looked in to see him asleep in the room they had once thought would be a nursery for their child, his place in their life seemed already set in stone. It was strange for her to note that she didn't feel that pang in her gut when she saw any of the other women pregnant or with their kids. She could have loved Harry anymore and definitely no less than she would have any of the children that she had, so if she was a little ecstatic well at least her imprint would understand.

They knew that the elders weren't done with Harry. They wanted to question, to see how they could use his knowledge. But at least they wouldn't try to take advantage of him due to his adopted family and he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Sam was relieved to say the least and then he was tense again. For harry to help them he would have to dredge up his past and Sam didn't know if he was willing to let the elders do that to him. They called harry in that very night, never being known to waste time and mush to their displeasure Sam followed him. They hadn't intended to harm or upset him in any way but Sam's presence made them wary of what may trigger an angry, overprotective werewolf.

"When we agreed to let you join the pack it was based on false pretenses. We admit that if we had known what we do now from the beginning we wouldn't have agreed to you staying. We do not like to be made a fool of harry and we hate being manipulate."

"I didn't mean to do either of those things. I was just…I mean I wanted to stay with da…Sam and Emily and I was scared that you would make me go."

"You knew that we would have made you go so you lied to secure your place. How can we be sure that you are not doing the same thing right now?

"When Sam first came to you he was going based off of the thoughts in my head. You took them as fact without even asking me."

"The pack mentality…"

"Isn't tamper proof. Any one of the pack knows how to direct certain thoughts to block other ones. I didn't know about it then…what happened...it wasn't on purpose. My magic…I just wanted to belong….i can't always control how it actions.

"And your sudden appearance?"

"It was the end of the war, if you will; I was in my wolf form, wishing I could be somewhere other than where I was. I wanted to be somewhere I could start over, where no one knew me and I could be happy…I ended up here, naked, in the forest."

"And your magic did that?"

"I believe your magic did. Forks' has a pull to it. I used to go to school in a castle that had magic infused into it. Your town feels just like that. There is ancient magic woven into its foundations and it is strongest in the reservation, which is probably why you have gotten a fair share of supernatural. It works kind of like a magnet. Magic needs to flow to be effective, it flows through the forest but it is grounded in the people. It takes life to hold magic and when the concentration is so small it draws from whatever it can to sustain itself. My magic was trying to perform an action, trying to realize my desires it takes on a life of its own to do so, projecting as it will to reach its goal, as it projected it was attracted by the pull from the reservation and voila. It took my desire and not only transported me but made it so that my true memories were protected until I had a chance to become a part of the reservation. "

Sam was surprised that harry spoke as surely as he did about magic. He gave it a personality, life, a will. He had images of some abstract concept. But magic apparently was much more concrete and defined. And forks' was for lack of a better word sentient. Sam was surprised that the elders were able to keep track of the explanation.

"How can we be sure that there is no one from your old life looking for you?"

"I don't know."

"What about your relatives"

"They won't come looking."

"That may be true Harry but we can't keep you hidden in the reservation for the rest of your life and as yet you are still a minor. If the authorities find out they will probably take you away. "

Harry had given little thought to his previous life and even less to the issue that the elders had brought up. From the time he had entered Hogwarts at age ten he had never once thought that he would ever need the dursley's for anything again, and now he was sixteen he was just happy to be rid of them. He knew even without the elders' next words that he had been jumping the gun.

"We understand that this may be the last thing you want to do but we need to make sure that we are covered in the normal world as well as the supernatural one. We need to find your relatives; we need them to agree to transfer your guardianship to Sam and Emily and we need it all done legally. In a few months the state will be surveying the reservation, by then your right to be here needs to be airtight. "

Whatever directions this conversation could have went in; this was probably the last one that Harry would have guessed. They were right. He didn't want to hunt down the dursley's in fact it was the last thing he wanted to do but the rest of it certainly had appeal. He had become Sam and Emily's son in everything but blood and name and as much as he hated to admit it would come back to haunt him if he didn't get things sorted out legally. He couldn't stay as he was because he couldn't spend the rest of his life without any certifiable proof of his past. It was funny really that the Dursley's were the key to him finally having a normal life. Of course this meant he had to go back. When he finally thought he had escaped his demons they were asking him to seek them out. Harry knew that it was hard for people to understand but to him the dursley's were the worst of what he had encountered over all his years. The war and the deaths he could get over, he could understand them and learn to live with them. His aunt and uncle however had thoroughly screwed him up. He felt pathetic at how shaken he was at the thought of what they wanted him to do. It was one thing explaining what they had done to him but it was impossible to ever fully express how it affected him. He felt as though they should have affected him as much as they did especially considering everything else he had dealt with.

If anyone asked him he would tell then that the war with voldemort was the worst thing to happen to him, but his conscience would scream at him that the Dursley's were ten times worse.

He didn't remember agreeing to anything but he must have because the next thing he knew the elders were dismissing him. He vaguely recognized that am was speaking to him but he didn't really respond until the other man touched his shoulder.

"Harry what…"

Before Sam could finish Harry pitched himself at the man's arms. He didn't know how the same prospect could seem petty and pathetic as well as daunting and overwhelming. He had fully intended not to say anything, to soak in the comfort that he knew Sam would give him regardless. However he found himself unable to hold back. For once he actively wanted someone to take care of him, to hold him and act like he was the most important part of their world.

He didn't think about the Dursley's or how Sam would change his mind once he spoke with them. As much as he loved Sam he knew that his uncle had successfully turned everyone who he met against his nephew. It was only a matter of time before he lost his parents…again.


	9. Chapter 9

Harry was happy to not think about the Dursley's for a while as Sam had insisted that it wasn't urgent and they had to find a way to get Harry out of America and currently he had no documents. He wasn't sure how they planned to get around it but he was glad to put it out of his mind. Getting them from his mind though, meant that his mind drifted towards Paul. He was aware that their relationship had grown fairly stagnant. Paul had been afraid of losing control so understandably they had stayed apart during the days they were affected by the full moon and then with the entire affair with the elders they had not gotten any time to reconnect. Harry was longing for the contact. He had to admit that as much as he tried to keep himself from losing himself in Paul's charm it was an idle effort. He found himself wishing for their long talks and treks through the forest. He missed that sometimes he could just be in his animagus form and Paul would just carry and cuddle him all day, talk to him and make him feel like the most cherished thing on the planet. It didn't matter that he was closed in and reserved, even when he got lost in himself, ignored him for no reason it was nice to know that the older male understood his reservations and wasn't even phased by his moodiness. With Sam and Emily he found that like any child he wanted to be on his best behavior, wanted to please them and gain their approval. He had actually never felt that with Paul. He didn't feel the need to be his best he didn't even feel the need to get Paul's approval, not that he didn't care about it, but it had never felt necessary. So far everything good that he had come across in his life was something that he felt he had to work to deserve, something that he need to show his appreciation to. But Paul, he was the one good thing that he felt just belonged to him, that was just meant to be his, or rather the opposite. Paul made Harry feel like he needed him, like everything he was, is and will be was perfectly fashioned for him and all Harry needed to do was to embrace himself as he was and accept what they had. He was slightly ashamed of his thoughts, of feeling like Paul was supposed to pursue, to try his hardest to please him and win his favor. At least that was until Emily explained to him that that was exactly the way she felt about Sam in the beginning of their relationship. The wolf spirit of the tribe was strong in that respect, the dominant partner was the one who did pursuing, it was their job to show that they were the best choice for their chosen submissive and they expected their partner to embrace this and behave in a manner that they can at least pretend that they 'won' their submissive by usurping all other potential suitors. Harry missed Paul's attention and the way he tried to monopolize Harry's every thought. And as much as he missed him he just couldn't approach him. He felt as though he hadn't gotten that right yet. He knew that Paul wouldn't mind but on a lesser, instinctual level he was mortified of approaching the other and finding that his attention had moved on to another possible submissive and Harry's continuing interest was unfounded and unwelcome.

He didn't notice it at first but even though he had been separated from Paul his attachment to him was growing and now his wolf needed reassurance and comfort that it was going about their courtship in the right way and his attitude had not actually displeased the older wolf. Paul also felt the change in their bond. He supposed it wasn't exactly changing but they had just not realized before just how strong it had grown. It was hard keeping his distance but it was more on his wolf side than his human one and he wished that he had taken time to explain in-depth to harry just how the wolf instincts would affect their interaction. Now that he had spent so much time trying to prove that he was worthy to Harry's wolf, his wolf had now gotten to the phase in the relationship where the power really started to shift. In the absence the submissive would either find that they missed the other and accept the relationship and the other's dominance over them or they would find themselves barely affected, possibly relieved and they would reject the other if they did decide to continue pursuing them. He was overcoming his need to prove himself and please Harry. He knew that Harry was no longer going to feel as though he had to test him, in fact judging by the way he felt, he was sure that he would be yearning to feel cherished and protected by him, just as that urge was slowly taking over his other instincts. He was relieved when he finally could think of approaching harry without his wolf rebelling and taking over because as much as he tried to get close all that happened was him spontaneously shifting and running halfway across the forest before he realized just what he was doing, though that didn't stop him from attempting at least once a day. Needless to say there was no holding him back when he found that he could approach harry with no repercussions. When he got to Sam's house, his alpha and his wife were nowhere to be seen. He would have knocked on the front door but the pack was at Sam's house so often that the alpha had gotten annoyed and granted them free entry. He snuck upstairs despite knowing that Harry wouldn't have noticed him regardless. His imprint was asleep, that was strange in itself. He knew that Harry had problems sleeping, every night either Sam or Emily had to be with him until he fell asleep and sometimes he would wake up when they left and have to sleep with them. Before that Harry would go nights without proper sleep and would only let himself drift off when Paul was with him and only after Paul had reassured him that it was okay. Suffice to say, Harry was not the type to sleep away the afternoon and Paul hated to think that in his absence something had happened to his imprint. He rushed over to the bed as fast as he could without startling harry from his sleep. At the bedside he saw a note on the other pillow. It was Sam and Emily saying sorry for leaving Harry when he was asleep but they knew he wouldn't want to leave incase Paul came over and they needed to get groceries. He smiled at the note before removing it and taking its place on the pillow. He curled up along Harry's back and draped a hand over his abdomen. He had mastered the art of maneuvering himself around Harry when he was asleep without waking him. He allowed himself to just take in his scent as he slept, knowing that he would sleep longer being held and that he must have been fairly tired in the first place. Grocery shopping for the pack was a daunting and expensive task. He knew Sam and Emily had started buying a lot of things wholesale but for the best price they had to go a fair distance so they would not be back anytime soon. He was aching for time alone with his imprint. Eventually Harry started to wake didn't seem frightened to wake up in someone else's arms and Paul couldn't decide how he felt about that. He put the letter that Sam left right in front of Harry's face. That would be enough to tell him that it was Sam that was holding him, he also knew that the note would make him blush because for one thing they had signed the note 'mom & dad' and more importantly it insinuated that harry had been pinning our Paul in his absence. Harry took the note and true to form started to blush before he stilled and Paul knew then that he realized just who it was that was holding him.

"Paul?" His voice was soft and tentative and spoke volumes as to how much he missed Paul.

"The one and only." Harry struggled to turn over in Paul's arms and look at him and when he finally succeeded he knew that it was only because Paul had let him. The two weeks apart had felt much longer to the younger wolf and he searched his imprints face for some kind of difference, any sort of change. And although he didn't see any physical changes he could feel that something had indeed changed

"I missed you."

"I know. I missed you to. I wouldn't have stayed away so long if I didn't have to. "

"Yeah, Dad told me everything…as much as I begged him to stop."

"That bad?"

"Mmhmm, but I think I would have picked him over you any day. Now that would have been awkward."

They just lay their quietly for several minutes, neither speaking, simply catching up. And the room was comfortably silent until Sam and Emily came home and the four spent the afternoon catching up.

Harry didn't know how or when during the course of the afternoon, he let Paul convince him to go to the beach in the middle of the night. The air had raised goose flesh on his arms and he could only imagine how frigid the water was going to be. He had absolutely no doubt that Paul expected them to go swimming. He had to admit it thought that it was beautiful. The entire beach had a silvery tint and the moon lighted the water in a way that made it all surreal. The tide had risen but rather than the severe push and pull he was expecting the water had calmed dramatically to just lap the shoreline. The wind blew and a shiver ran down his back before stopping abruptly as Paul hugged him from behind. The heat he radiated warmed harry instantly. And he was suddenly every happy that he decided to come. It took a while for him to realize that Paul was shirtless and while he had seen him so most of the time the scenery made it feel different, more intimate. In spite of himself he jumped when Paul spoke into his ear.

"You can't go swimming with all your clothes on."

"Paul it's freezing, you can't honestly think that swimming now is a good idea, I'll probably get hypothermia."

"You won't and trust me; it won't be so bad once you get in."

Harry would be the first to admit that he put up a pretty pathetic fight but in truth he didn't really want to fight. He was perfectly content trusting what Paul wanted to, knowing on some deeper level that Paul would only ever do right by him. Still that didn't make it any easier to strip in front of him. He had never been this exposed with only Paul before. Whenever they had gone swimming it had always been in a group of some sort. Harry didn't have much time to think however because Paul's arms were around him again but this time they were face to face and Harry allowed his imprint to coax him to wrap his legs around his waist. It was apposition that made him blush and for a few seconds he couldn't help the fact that he could help but think of what Sam's reaction would be if he were to see them in that position. Harry hugged himself closer as Paul walked into the surf. A chill ran down his spine at the mere thought of the freezing water on his skin. He felt ridiculous though when Paul lowered them and the water was not frigid but more tepid, and to top it all off Paul's body heat was no less effective underwater. Paul was nice enough not to say anything he just kept walking further and further into the water.

"You won't be able to stand soon."

"Paul, where are you taking me?"

"I just…I need to be alone with you. Like really alone. Even when it is just the two of us I can smell everyone, sense them, when really I just want to lose myself in you."

"I felt like that when you stopped coming over. I could still smell you around my room but then everybody else started overpowering it and then it was just…just gone when you were the only one I wanted to be around."

Paul knew that Harry would have been the worse off after being apart. His wolf would think that it was to blame. He knew that he would need some reassurance and that was only cemented when harry not only wrapped his legs around his waist but nuzzled his neck and whimpered.

"I am sorry I made you have to leave."

"Harry it wasn't your fault."

"It was, if I had just accepted you from the beginning you wouldn't have felt like you need to stay away."

"Even if you had it wouldn't have made a difference. That is just how the imprinting is. Rationally I knew that it was pointless and I wanted to be near you but my wolf need to prove to you that you needed me as much as I needed you."

"But I needed you more. I felt like you were abandoning me, like after everything you…"

"Shhh. I need you to figure out the difference between your feelings and your wolf's. If you are not careful it will drive you crazy."

"I'm already crazy."

Harry was vaguely aware that he couldn't stand now even if he wanted to; in fact he realized that they were no longer moving. Well they were but rather than Paul walking backwards he was simply kicking his legs and it too him too long to realize that they had gone out to a point where they were simply floating along and he tensed.

"shh I got you. Trust me."

Surprisingly he did and calmed down. He rationalized that Paul had more than enough power in his muscle to not only keep them afloat but to direct them where ever he wanted to go.

"Now I need you to reach over and get on my back."

As soon as harry did so. He turned over and started powering through the water. Harry could hardly see where they were going until they were there. It was something of an offshore island; a large stony looking structure that stood tall from the ocean but from the underside there was a small opening that lead into a larger cave. Paul detached harry from him for only a moment to let him through first before following. Almost immediately the deep ocean swallowed and they were walking in waist deep water and up a slope of fine sand. Harry was in awe the entire set up seemed surreal and he looked at Paul in amazement.

"I came here a lot over the past few weeks. It was easier to be away from you when I distance myself from everything. It is pretty close to shore. If I was cliff diving I could get here in around five minutes depending on how fast I go but I didn't want you anywhere near the cliff much less jumping off of it. "

"It so…wows."

The rock overhead was porous and moonlight filtered in, bathing the cave in an unearthly glow. Paul watched as harry dragged himself up to dry sand and sat cross-legged right in the path of the light. His breath caught.

"God your beautiful." Harry whined.

"Paul…stop saying thing like that."

He didn't need to look at harry to know that he was blushing. His head was ducked and Paul wasted no time in closing the distance between them and lifting his chin. He brushed back a few stray strands of his hair, that hadn't been cut since he first woke up in the forest.

"Can I kiss you?" harry gulped.

"You know it kind of ruins the mood when you ask, next time…"

Before he could finish Paul's lips were on his. It wasn't a deep passionate kiss but rather a lingering peck. But it still made harry flush and his heart speed up. And then it was done. Harry tried to pull away and Paul wouldn't let him. He spoke his next words grazing Harry's lips.

"I love you harry."

"P…"

"Don't say anything. Just…don't question me, don't say it back just…just let it be."

Harry didn't know how long he sat there just looking at Paul. Taking in every part of him and feeling his heart swell with the fact that Paul loved him. They were almost nose to nose and Harry daringly closed the few centimeters and pecked Paul's lips, much like he had just done, but this time he pulled back completely and the red of his blush was visible even in the silvery light. Paul simply stood and held out hand was his hand. They both felt like harry taking his hand signified a greater shift in their relationship but felt the need to address it. And then Paul was taking him back to shore. This time harry was on his back the entire trip and they got back much faster than it took to get out there. The frigid night air brought harry back to his senses in an unpleasant way until Paul picked him up and guided his legs around his waist once more. This time it didn't feel awkward and he easily settled down into his hold. He didn't even remember drifting off to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

***just a filler until i can get the rest of the chapter written- busy busy me**

Harry didn't know how he had ever entertained the idea that he could spend the night out with Paul and then slink back in during the early hours of the morning and Sam would never be the wiser. They didn't even make it back to the first group of houses before a deep growl woke Harry up. In a split second he realized the source of the growl and he very nearly jumped from Paul's grip. Sam was in wolf form and effectively blocking their path. He looked positively feral and for the first time since he met the older man Harry felt scared of him. He was poised to attack and harry shook as Paul made as if he was going to double back and walk around Sam but after a few minutes he stopped and set harry at the base of a tree before approaching the irate wolf once more. As soon as he was out of their immediate vicinity, the Alpha lunged at Paul, who phased just in time for them to collide. Harry could see that Paul immediately took a defensive position, not wanting to antagonize his alpha any further. He had known as soon as he asked harry out that Sam wouldn't have approved but he was willing to face whatever consequences it afforded him. Sam heard that thought pass through Paul's mind and it awakened his anger further.

-Then why did you do it Paul. - Sam lunged for the others throat and just barely missed as he moved. His teeth just snapped on the fur of his shoulder. Paul didn't reply.

- Why would you risk Harry's safety like that? - He lunged again and this time he stuck him down unto his back and Harry watched for several long moments as Sam stood over him growling.

- You know what happened with Emily, you know how unstable we are at the beginning of an imprint. If I could do that to my imprint what about you?!

-I would never hurt him.-

-you wouldn't have a choice; it is so easy for our wolves to take over. You know how long it took you to finally get yours under control.-

- I had to! Didn't you see him? He was a wreck. He kept asking me what he had done, saying how he would be better so I wouldn't need to leave him again. I needed to show him….i needed to let him know.-

- let him know what Paul-what was so important that you took my son from the house in the middle of the night, without leaving a hint as to where he was or what was going on. How do you justify that Paul-

- I just wanted to let him know-

-Let him know what?-

-That I loved him- At these words Sam finally stopped growling at him and sunk his teeth deep into the others shoulder. It was deep enough to draw blood but he released him almost instantly before falling back on his hunches.

- Paul I understand what you are going through, I have an imprint of my own. It's not easy I know but you need to keep in mind that Harry's my son in every way that counts. I love him just as much as I love Emily and God help me if something happens and I ever have to choose. I can't help my overprotectiveness. And you know how we get, you knew better than to do that.-

- I'm sorry Sam I just…we needed this-

-yeah I know just next time a heads u would be nice, especially since I haven't gotten around to talking to him about the actual mating yet.-

-Well that's the joy of parenting-

With that Paul walked back over to Harry. He knew his imprint was scared but also that he wouldn't have interfered and he was glad because he never wanted to make him choose between Paul and his family. He had shredded his clothes when he phased and so did his best to say his goodbyes in his wolf form-lots of nudging and licking- though his enthusiasm was inhibited by the injury Sam just caused. After several moments Sam approached as well, in human form and dressed. Harry had calmed enough to start feeling tired once more. Paul was an expert at body language so when he approached Sam gave harry on final lick and backed off. San knelt in front of his son.

"I am disappointed in you harry. You know better." Harry wouldn't look at him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't…"

"We'll talk when we get home."

The walk home was silent and tense, harry lagged behind and still wouldn't look at him. By the time they got home both of them were feeling as though they had ruined their own bond by their actions.

Harry was quick to run up to his room, he didn't know what was said between Sam and Paul while they fought but he knew that a conversation had taken place. As they fought harry had been a shivering mess the cold of the night air plus his own fright had him shaking, even now he still had a slight tremor. He didn't want to face Sam, to see his disappointment. The thought made him sick and all he wanted to do was cry into his shoulder and accept comfort but he felt like he had just worn out his Harry fell asleep that night it was inspite of fighting and failing to hold back his tears, he fell asleep with his face still smothered in his pillow. Sam couldn't bring himself to move romhis spot at he base of the stairs, once again Harry had caused him to pit his Wolf against his human side and he didnt know how he would settled the confrontation and deal with the fears that he was sure Harry was having. When he had woken up that night he immediately knew that something was wrong and barged full speed into harry's room. He swore that his heart stopped when he couldnt find harry and his scent was faded. it took him several minutes to realise the Paul's scent was also in the room and was as fresh as Harry's. Another spark of fear shot through him,all he could see was the memory of him losing control and hurting Emily. There was no denying that Paul wasthe most unstable of the pack anger-wise he couldn't find it in him to calm down even a fraction. He was so worked up that he didnt trust himself to tell Emily he was leaving. His wolf was taking over. All his instincts screamed at him that he need to find and punish them and this is where is inner conflict began. it wasnt unheard of for him to punish the pack members, inversley it was actually quite normal and expected however aside from maybe a scolding, this had never seemed to apply to harry. Normally a punishement was some sort of fight, he would physically hurt and then overpower the offender, not badly enough to cause lasting damage but it had to be thorough enough to impress upon the wolves that the alpha was still in charge and not only that they were wrong but also that they had been punished and afterwards the transgression would be done with. It was milder for the younger wolves but it was always the same basic template; he would attack and they would have to succumb to him and allow him to mark then submissively as he did when they entered the pack. But harry was his son, his cub, he couldn't bring himself to do that to him. and yet he still couldn't squash his instinct to discipline him. When harry had ran up the stairs he wanted to run behind him, and when he heard him crying it was all he could do not to run behind him because he knew he had fully supressed his instincts just yet. He didn't know how long he stood there when Emily's hand on his arm pulled him fron his thoughts.

" Sam, please come back to bed." he opened his mouth to speak. " Tell me tomorrow, everybody is home and unhurt, lets deal with it tomorrow."

Sam was always awed at how Emily just seemed to know things and this time he was especially grateful for it.


	11. Chapter 11

Harry desperately craved comfort, he fell asleep pretending that Sam was holding him, even as he could feel the first stirrings of his night terrors creeping into the edges of his consciousness. They made his fond room seem threatening and empty. He wanted to barge into their room and make Sam for give him. he wanted to squeeze in between them as silly as it may be and just forget about everything else. He had come to accept his instincts in that respect, the way he seemed to regress when he was around Sam and Emily, his desire to be taken care of. And embarrassing as it was he had come to terms with it. However for the first time he found himself desiring something else from Sam other than comfort and protection. when he saw Sam, as an alpha, punishing Paul he was dumbstruck. He didn't like the fact that for all intents and purposes his father was attacking his boyfriend, he was scared about what the outcome would be and even more so what would happen to him when they had finished their fight.

There was a part of his that was terrified at the thought that after Sam was finished with Paul he would turn his efforts to him. And then there was a part of him that was stricken with fear that when Sam was finished with Paul he would just overlook him. In fact the latter option struck Harry as more frightening than the first. He could handle Sam being mad at him, in fact he preferred it to his indifference but he couldn't face Sam being angry at him, being upset with what he did and then just ignoring it. It made Harry feel like Sam just couldn't be bothered, he felt invisible, insignificant...unloved. He didn't know where he got that wish for Sam to punish him. But seeing the alpha interact with the pack he knew that Sam punishing the pack members was part of the day-to-day interactions. It was about reaffirming your place in the pack; knowing that the Alpha took it upon himself to dole out punishment meant that your actions displeased him but he still valued you as part of the pack, as part of his family, receiving punishment also showed that the Alpha still saw you as his responsibility. You still had his protection and he still cared enough to want to help you, to want to see you grow and get better. And when it was all over and done, no matter how intense it was or how long it lasted, regardless of what you did, you knew that you were forgiven.

Harry felt his heart break a little when Sam more or less brushed him off. It was like a physical blow. Why didnt Sam want to Punish him? Why was he brushing off what Harry did yet punished Paul for the same transgression? Most importantly why did Harry want Sam to do 'that' to him? He spent his entire life being afraid of the consequences he got when he displeased a member of his family and now here was wishing that Sam would hold him accountable for his transgressions, he wanted to face the consequences. Those thoughts kept running through his head in-between his bouts of nightmares. And then there was the answer that lurked on the edge of his consciousness. He wanted someone who cared enough about him to punish him, because they wanted him to do better, to be better because they loved him. Sam obviously didn't love him enough to do that. As much as he tried to ignore it he couldn't shake the realization that settled like lead in the pit of his stomach.

As much as Sam wanted to take up Emily's offer and go to bed be couldn't. He knew that Paul would be waiting outside and thankfully Emily understood enough not to argue or question the fact. Sure Enough Paul was there sitting on the back step. He had gone home to get clothes after phasing and shredding the ones he wore earlier. the look he gave Sam was decidedly sheepish but the older wolf could still see the uncertainty and vulnerability in his eyes. It was always difficult for Paul to accept his place because he was above all the other wolves of the pack and so submitting to and being punished by Sam was always harder on Paul, not only physically but also emotionally. Sam had to be harsher with him and Paul was such a proud violent individual the act of discipline always made him feel extremely small and vulnerable. He approached him slower than usual , knowing that after a punishment the members of the pack tended to become very skittish towards him.

"Hey." Paul waited patiently to see if Sam mentioned anything about what had happened earlier. knowing that if he didn't bring it up that Sam had already forgiven him and put it behind them. Sam knew that like all the members of the pack Paul was seeking comfort and reassurance, but it was always harder between them. With the other members, he could hold them, kiss their foreheads, whisper reassurances to them. The first and last time he tried to do that to Paul he broke down, convinced that Sam was belittling him, that he no longer valued him as much. He had learned that he needed to be subtle and unobtrusive with Paul. It had become a delicate balance of just enough to be considered not enough, which was as much as Paul would accept.

Sam leaned backwards. his arms stretched out behind him to either side in a guise of needing balance. Paul was on his left side and he hade sure that, that arm just light touched along the others back in a way that would seem accidental if the two wolves didn't know each other as well as they did. they sat like that for a while occasionally remarking about one thing or the other but nothing to serious. Paul shifted away from the hand at one point but Sam made sure that they stayed in contact and in response Paul shifted backwards pressing his back against Sam's arm and they both knew that the air was clear between.

" You know it took a long time for Harry to accept the difference between discipline and abuse. He questioned me about it over and over because he didn't want to insult you or make you upset. the first time he saw you discipline one of the pack i was scared about how he would react but the next day he was fine. he said he could see that it was because you cared and it hurt you that you had to do it. And if it ever came down to it and you had to punish him he would know that it was because you cared about him. He's never really been in trouble with you before, not something that required punishment."

He stood before continuing.

"I don't like the thought of having to punish Harry any more than you do. And you know I would rather take it myself than have you discipline any member of the pack and that goes double for him..."He paused as if unsure of what to say next.

"Remember when Brady got injured because he and Collin went cliff diving even though you told them not to. And you didn't want to punish Brady because he got hurt. Do you remember how upset he was, how his thoughts were when he phased. It didn't matter that Collin convinced him or that he got hurt and in the end you did it to make him feel better. I can't presume to know what goes on inside my imprint's head but I can feel that he is pretty broken up and he is beating himself up over something."

"I hadn't realised you two had emotionally bonded."

"I didn't realise it until I told him I loved him, he didn't say it back but I take it that he feels that same way."

Sam couldn't not notice the hopefulness in his eyes that he tried to conceal. It was comforting to know that two of the most important people in his life were finding love in one another even if he thought they had been a bit reckless about how they undertook it.

"Harry never told me any of that.I had no idea that he felt that way."

"Maybe he was scared. Harry was trying not to upset you as much as you are trying not to upset him. Maybe...I think you two need to talk."

"I guess your right." With that Paul turned and walked away. Sam waited until he could no longer see the other man before going inside.

His senses automatically honed in to his family. Emily was upstairs in their bedroom her breathing was deep and even. her scent was the same, at least one of them was getting rest. He tried his hardest to gauge Harry before realising he couldn't. He could tell that Harru was there but he couldnt figure out anything else, he sighed when he realised that Harry had probably set up a ward around his room though wether it was intentional was something else entirely. Sam went up the stairs two at a speaking with Paul he knew he couldnt hold off his conversation with Harry until the morning. The door to Harry's room was locked. He tried to enter from the adjoining door but that was also locked which was an oddity in itself. He was suddenly tempted to wait until the next day however with Paul's words echoing in his head he went back into the hallway. There was really no way to force open a locked door quietly or even painlessly. Sam just hoped that he didn't startle either of the houses other two occupants too badly.

Harry wasnt asleep. When Sam opened the door he found Harry in wolf form his green eyes peaking out from the small space between his two pillows. Sam approached slowly his voice calling out the the younger softly and saw the slight tremor just as he did the first day he had met Harry. He couldn't understand how they kept making the same and time again they let a not so big problem turn into a huge rift and then it take a lot of word and tears to set it right deciding that Harry needed some mor motivationSam decided just to s start talking, hoping it would draw the other out.

"I had an enlightening conversation with Paul a few minutes ago. He came by because of his punishment but when we got to talking well he opened my eyes to a few things. I just wish that you had told me yourself.I was set on sorting this out tonight but I can wait until tomorrow. If you want the three of us could go out for the day and try and fix everything, for one and for all."

Harry didnt respond, mostly because there was only so much that he could only communicate so uch in that form.

"I am not mad at you, just so you know. Disappointed, but not mad. I wish that you and Paul were a bit more resonsible. I wish that you would just talk to me and trust me to not get offended because you don't understand me. I wish that you would believe me when I said that i loved you Harry,I meant it and that isnt going to change."

Sam got up then, he had said all he could for tonight and Harry had yet to even change his position. It hurt more thanhe was willing to show or felt as though everything they had been through had been pointless. His wolf was depressed, he felt as though he had failed in a big had been a long time since he had felt this hopeless. He went to the bedroom door tried his hardest to fit it back into the frame.

"Goodnight Harry." He turned and made his way to the adjoining door silently planning to had it permanently locked, cemented over or simply have Harry move to one of the other rooms. He almost didnt hear when the wolf in question cried out.

"I know Dad...that you love me. it isn't about you, or us."

"Then what is it about Harry" Sam began to make his way back towards the bed.

"What? me and Paul or the other thing."

"Lets talk about the other thing for now."

"Its just that tonight i never thought that i would want you to and that scared me. And then when you didnt and just set me up here all I could think of was the worst things. I didnt want to ask because I thought you were mad at me and i didnt want to make it any worse. I was going to ask Mom tomorrow. It;s just hard to tell someone that you were upset because they didn't...you know."

Sam sat down on the bed once more. Harry was naked and wrapped in a blanket, his face blushing furiously.

"You know how I punish the smaller wolves...is that okay,it wont trigger anything." Harry simply shook his head too embarrassed to speak.

"I need to to get accross my lap Harry...I won't ever force anyone into a punishment. You have to consent first."

Harry understood that. He had seen it many times. no one had ever refused a punishemnt but Sam always had them acknowledge it before hand. With that in mind he got up off the bed to stand next to Sam. The blanket was still wrapped around him but he didnt put up a fight when Sam pulled it from him. He allowed Sam to guide him over his lap. Thankful for it because it was actually more awkward and difficult to get into position that it looked. He felt the warm hand resting lightly on his behind ans he couldnt help but tense.

"There is more to this than just swatting and making someone cry. There comes a point when you can feel the change in the person being punished, i dont know if you would call it an acceptance or a release. A point where the pain becomes more than pain and it becomes emotional. you will probably understand more when it happens."

Harry stiffened then.

"I will only be using my hand for now, especially since this is the first time I will be spanking you. If you really can't handle it i want you to tell me okay."

Harry wasn't sure if he was supposed to answer but before he had a chance to the first swat fell. His entire body tensed just in time for the next one to fall. It was a steady, unharried rhythm, one that has his backside burning in mere moments and steadily increasing. He was crying out with each spank but he hardly noticed. he had thought about what he and Paul had done extensively but now it seemed the real gravity of it hit him. He was ashamed of himself even more so that he was in this position, that he had put Sam in this position. Even though the older man was the one swatting him he could feel his compassion, in the way his other hand pressed on his lower back. As he cried he felt like each tear was him letting go of that guilt and shame. He knew when he hit that moment Sam spoke about. He hardly registered the spanks anymore but each hit seemed to wrench his heart rather than his behind. He was no longer crying out with each strike just crying steadily. He felt limp and exhausted.

Sam pulled him up. He quickly wrapped the Harry in his blanket before carefully pulling harry unto his lap. The spanking was quick but no less of a punishment that what Paul had recieved. Harry didn't even seem to have the energy to grab at him, he just allowed himself to be held and comforted. Sam had an inkling of what he was feeling. All of the others reacted the same way the first few times. It was intense because of their dual was just sobbing now and well on his way to falling asleep but Sam didnt let go of him until he had well and truely fallen. Sam put harry in a pair of boxers and carried in into his and Emily's room. She was awake but Sam wasn't surprised because Harry had been quite loud, probably more than he had realised. She smiled when she saw them, harry clutching at his blanket and Sam clutching harry. As soon as Sam lay him down, he shimmed down from the pillows and his head found it's way to Emily's chest. She couldn't resist pressing a kiss to his head. Moments later Sam joined them. They bracketed harry on the bed. Sam also kissed his forehead before stretching over him and kissing Emily.

"I'm proud of you Sam, of both of you. I'm glad we got this sorted now."

He knew what she meant. In less than two weeks they would be in England. It took a while but Harry assured then that because of his age his family had no claim in him but he did have things to settle before they could stop worrying. He was ready to turn away from the wizarding world fully. Even now that his magic had come back he only ever used it for were all anxious about him going back even though it was only supposed to be so that he could say goodbye. Naturally Sam and Emily were going with him but that did little to ease their anxiety. It was all they could do to just face everything day by day and not to let it overwhelm them. in a way sam was happy for what happened, it was nice to fall asleep with his family around him. enjoying the moment rather than worrying about what would happen when he woke.


	12. Chapter 12

Harry literally froze when Sam had told him that they were going to enlist the help of vampires in order for him to get the appropriate documentation to leave the country. It made sense of course if they were to ensure that the wizarding world would leave harry alone, they would need to go and tie up any loose ends that Harry had left when he disappeared. He had wondered how they had planned to get him on the plane, and more so why they didn't even think it was a problem and now he knew why. Since harry had joined the pack he knew that there were vampires that had fought alongside the wolves, in fact it was because of the vampires that they fought in the first place. They were in the bad books of the volturi so trouble was bound to come and with one of their own having imprinted on the very cause of the conflict, they could not just sit aside even though the wolf in question had separated from the pack.

Harry had only seen Jacob a few times, he came down once a month for a few days around the full moon in order to run with the pack and see his father. His heart however was with the vampire coven and his allegiance lay truly with them. He allowed Sam to act as his Alpha now that everything was said and done but there was an understanding amongst the pack that Jacob was the rightful alpha and submitted by choice. Sam didn't punish him and jacob didn't defer to Sam if he didn't want to. In fact it was more like a coming together of two Alpha's and two packs when he was there. Seth and Leah tended to gravitate towards him and Sam would allow this as Jacob was respectful and made sure that it didn't interfere with the dynamics of his pack. Jacob had been acting as a mediator between the vampire coven and the Wolf pack. one of the vampires could read minds so it wasn't really an option to keep it a secret and as it turns out they wanted to help. Harry was extremely wary of vampires regardless of their intention, he had been on the bad side of one too many of them during the war. Sam knew this as well which is probably why he waited so long to tell him. They wanted to help, not only were they offering the services of the lawyer they used to handle their own affairs, but also their own private plane, the use of their homes in the UK and were also willing to help foot the bill for their expenses. Harry knew that this was a big deal, they were being handed a heck of a lot on a platter, He didn't need to be told that Sam and Emily would be hard pressed to find the money and the resources to do this without the vampires help. He knew that they were hoping for it though they would never say or pressure him because of it.

Once again he was struck with the weird feeling of having parents take care of you, they would go through any lengths to keep you from worrying, they would shoulder the entire burden and all the stress that went with it and not let on the true state of things. But harry had lived enough to know better. It was a pretty good deal really and he would really have to be an idiot not to take them up on it. The condition really wasn't all that much to ask, all things considered. In fact it was perfectly reasonable. So why did he feel like his heart was about to hammer its way through his throat and all the blood in his body had drained into his toes. He was wary enough when he heard that they had offered their services and if it wasn't for Sam and Emily he would have told them exactly where to stash their offer. As it was the words just kept echoing around his head in a wary sort of way, threatening in their simplicity and seeming innocence.

"They want to meet you Harry."

He didn't realise that he had stopped breathing until he felt Emily's hand rubbing his back and her soft voice urging him to take a breath.

"...You need to breathe Harry, you're scaring me."

"If it upsets you that much Harry then we will just tell them no,its just one means to an end."

Harry had been in several positions like this before, where the decision that he knew he should make is the one that he was terrified to would be given a choice but he always knew that it was just a technicality. He was actually stunned that he genuine choice. He knew that a lot was riding on what he choose but for once he knew without a doubt that if he refused it would still be okay. Sam and Emily wouldn't be mad they or disappointed. It was truly about what he wanted. That knowledge at least calmed him down somewhat, just knowing that he did have some power in the situation. It did help that he felt like he knew the Cullen's somewhat from what he had seen in the minds of the pack.

"I'll do it." Sam looked at him strangely, obviously expecting that after everything Harry was going to say no. In fact as much as they needed the help it seemed as though Sam didn't want him near the vampires anymore than Harry himself wanted to be near them.

"Are you sure, Harry. I meant it you know, you really don't have to if you are not comfortable.

"I know" and he really did know."I want to." They all knew that it wasn't 'want to' like he wanted to go to an amusement park, it was more like a drug addict who wanted to get sober; the prospect was attractive but mortifying all at the same time. As soon as he gave his consent Sam started filling him in on everything that he thought Harry needed to know. He wasn't sure if the information was to make him feel more prepared or to turn him off of the idea. Again he likened it to the way a drug addict feels when they are being warned about what withdrawal will be like. It wasn't long before he was wrapped up deep in his own thoughts, he could vaguely hear Sam's voice but his mind was still stuck on 'see the future' and 'mind reader'. he had known about their abilities but he hadn't thought about what it would be like to confront those abilities. He had magic of his own, he knew that his core was full replenished but he hadn't used his magic for anything besides shifting and he was not sure that he was ready to do so. But could he handle some vampire being privy to all his thoughts, his pack was one thing but that was another can of worms entirely. And what about the one who could tell the future, he knew that she couldn't see the wolves future but he wasn't a shifter like the rest of the pack, what if she could read him. He realised fairly quickly that his thoughts were causing a panic to rise in the pit of his gut and all he wanted was for everyone to stop talking so that he could calm his head and yet he knew that they thought they were helping so he kept quiet. He was so preoccupied he was surprised that he noticed when Paul sat silently on his other was instantly calming. Paul discreetly threaded his fingers through Harry's where his hand lay between them on the couch. It was so easy for Harry to grab on and squeeze, letting Paul know just how bothered he really was.

For the time that Harry had been with the pack he had realized that Paul and Sam had their own special way of communicating. The first time he noticed this was the way that they interacted after Sam punished him. the rest of the pack would have been tormented by the way Sam treated Paul after the fact, they would be uneasy and guilty but for Paul it was the had a special dynamic. Even in their pack mind the two could communicate and make decisions discreetly. They could interact with gestures and body language on a level that the rest of the pack couldn't figure out. It was unique to the bond between and Alpha and second command, between best friends who would do anything for each other. Harry was only becoming aware of how much their secret communications involved him. He had gotten to the point where his relationship between Sam and Emily was no longer the centre of his life and the imprint between him and Paul was becoming more and more significant. He was finding that things he would normally look to Sam to he was now delegating to Paul. His mind was trying to compartmentalize these two bonds and differentiate how to interact between each of the parties. And as he was trying to figure out just who he should look to for what, Paul and Sam were trying to work the factor of Harry into their own relationship, how do they each take care of him in their own way without overstepping the other's boundaries.

Paul took in the way Harry grasped at his hand, understood it for what it was. Harry was overwhelmed and didn't want everyone to know it. A month ago he knew that the younger male would not have hesitated to say or signal to either Sam or Emily what he was feeling. It pleased his wolf to know that his imprint was deferring to him. He felt like it was his duty to get rid of the problem but he couldn't ignore that Sam was essentially Harry's father and even his wolf couldn't ignore the significance of their bond.

Harry blushed when Paul wrapped an arm around him and pulled him into his side, Leaning back into the chair so that Harry was leaning into his side. It was a comforting gesture, he noted that the way he was positioned he could easily bury his face into Paul's chest and if he did he was sure that Paul would ease his body just so, effectively blocking Harry from the rest of the Pack. it was a position he saw the younger members of the pack in from time to time, mostly after a punishment or injury. It not only comforted them but also let everyone else know that they were hurting and that they need to back off so that they could get themselves together. Paul hasn't exactly put him in that position but the allusion of it was clear to Harry and apparently Sam as well. It was just enough to show Sam that Harry was becoming distressed but not enough to seem as though Paul was trying to protect Harry from Sam and thereby angering his imprint's father and his best friend. Immediately Sam noticed the Shift and he stopped talking, saying that it was enough for that day and he would talk to harry later. the rest of the pack didn't seem to notice the significance of the way that Paul and Harry were seated and at the very least that saved Harry from further embarrassment. In fact the only one who seemed to understand what was going on was Emily. When the pack had all left Emily stood enthusiastically saying that she needed to go grocery shopping before the pack ambushed the house again and naturally she had to drag Sam along to do the heavy lifting. Harry had to admit he was a tad dazed, all he had done was squeeze Paul's hand and within a matter of minutes the entire living room was cleared. And then he could have sworn that Paul was an empath as he felt waves of comfort wash over him. He had no problem whatsoever allowing Paul to pull him fully into his arms and Harry wasted no time fulfilling his position and hiding his face in Paul's chest. He knew that as imprints it was more than just a position of comfort, it was the submissive position but it felt right. He had known from the beginning anyway that his wolf would be submissive to Paul's. He felt protected and cared for, and it was different to when he was with Sam. Because he knew that it was not just about love and protection, Paul wasn't just filling a role, like Sam was filling the role of Harry's father. Paul was Harry's other half, his soulmate and that touched him in a way that no one else could dream of.

He didn't know how long they just sat there. Paul had been rubbing his back to calm him down and now it just seemed to be a strangely intimate gesture, a touch just for the sake of touching him, and he didn't want him to stop anymore than Paul seemed to want to do so.

"Feeling better?" Harry honestly didn't feel like talking, he felt better, better to the point where he could have melted into a puddle from Paul's hand petting his back the way he was. He blamed his wolf for the feeling but he didn't not like it.

"mmm" He nuzzled Paul's chest some more, something he had seen the others in the pack do, it was a sign that he wasn't ready to let go just yet.

"I know that Sam said it before but i just want to make sure you know that it really is okay if you don't want to meet with the Cullen's. That said I also want you to know that while I would rather you not see them at all I won't try to influence you. But I want you to tell me if something is bothering you, even if i can get rid of the problem and all i can do is comfort you, I don't want you to keep things bottled up."

it wasn't the first time that harry was hearing something like this from Paul, he had always made a point of letting harry know that while he was the dominant mate he would never try to control his life and would respect his decisions. And above all he always said over and over, sometimes with no reason at all, that he was always there for harry to confide in, that he wanted Harry to confide in had been trying to do just that, but most of the time he felt too shy or uneasy saying certain things out loud and had found himself taking advantage of Paul's accuracy with reading body was never one to talk much and he preferred get his point across with actions, which also meant that he was able to decipher how Harry was feeling simply from how he carried himself and respond in was always grateful for the subtle way in which he did knew that Paul was hoping he would become more vocal. It was one thing to know that harry was upset but it wasn't always clear why he was upset and he knew that it agitated Paul when he couldn't fix what was wrong. He thought about earlier and his feelings on meeting the Vampires. Harry knew that if he were to fully talk to Sam about his doubts vs his reasons for wanting to go through with it that Sam wouldn't react in the best way. It wasn't that he would get mad or overreact but Harry knew that if he tried to explain his mental process to sam, if he told him all the reasons why he decided to meet with them, that Sam would in turn just feel guilty and inadequate as and Alpha and as a father, and then despite anything Harry would say he would flat out refuse to let him see the Cullens and most likely force Harry to say underfoot for the next month until he thought he had shown Harry just how well he could take care of him. However he didn't feel any of that anxiety with Paul. As a Father Sam's job was to protect him from the world but as an imprint It was Paul's job to face the world with him. Harry figured that it was about time that he gave Paul a chance to do his job.

"Maybe we should talk upstairs..." Harry cringed slightly noting that it sounded as though he was just trying to get Paul in his bedroom, and he was thankful that Paul could read him so well because in a different situation he would have been piling the innuendo unto Harry's slip up. The fact was that they were alone in the house but he wouldn't feel like he had any privacy pouring out his soul in the living room.

Paul rearranged Harry so that the younger was straddling him and stood up. Harry tightened his legs around Paul's middle but he knew that from the strong grip Paul had him in he didn't really have to worry about going anywhere. He was trying to fight his blush as he always did when Paul decided he wanted to carry him around and his preferred position was with Harry's legs wrapped around his torso. In Pauls opinion the trip to Harry's bedroom was too short and not long enough. He enjoyed holding Harry that way but if he didn't put the younger man down soon he wouldn't be able to control his libdo. Harry scrambled down as usual but Paul could only find his shyness endearing.

They sat side by side on the wanted to just blurt out that he was scared but he knew that a declaration like that would send Paul into full overprotective mode. Instead he started going through all the thoughts he had since the discussion started and once he started it was hard to stop. It was nice to get his worries out in the open and in exchange Paul told his some of his own. He told Harry about how much his wolf protested at the thought of his imprint seeing much less being in the proximity of vampires, he told him about his irrational fear that something would happen to him even though he knew that the cullens were allies, how much he wishes that he had the resources to get this sorted on his own so that Harry didn't have to be put into a situation he was uncomfortable with. that especially was a nice change for harry, it was one of the differences between Sam and Paul. Sam just tried to shelter him but Paul actually confided in him, tried to let him see where he was coming from and make it seem like they were on equal footing.

"I like this." Paul raised eyebrow. But he did not comment and Harry wasn't going to explain to him that he just envisioned he and Paul turning into Sam and Emily. He could feel that small instinctual piece of him swell with happiness. It was a feeling he had come to understand as his wolf reacting to his imprint. As much as he knew Paul would want to know what his seemingly random comment was about he decided not to say anything, instead he started telling Paul about everything that had run through his head this afternoon.


End file.
